The evening speaks...nope, it was just my wind

I've been listening to Toad the Wet Sprocket's - "All I Want" on repeat since hearing it in rabbit's car. That was Monday evening. I love the song, the catchy lyrics, the thumping 80's beat, and all that other good stuff. I wonder what they're singing about. I thought the chorus "All I want is to feel this way, To be this close, to feel the same" meant that the singer wanted to always feel the love he felt at the moment for his love. However, the other parts of the song suggest something different.


Nothing’s so loud
As hearing when we lie
The truth is not kind
And you’ve said neither am i (I wondered if he cheated)
But the air outside so soft is saying everything
Everything (the speaking air is counterintuitive. Referring to the silence, the awkward moment that fills the void before a first kiss, or before the break-up speech)

All I want is to feel this way
To be this close, to feel the same
All I want is to feel this way
The evening speaks, I feel it say... (What is the evening saying?)

Nothing’s so cold
As closing the heart when all we need
Is to free the soul
But we wouldn’t be that brave I know
And the air outside so soft, confessing everything
Everything (Perhaps the couple is in love, neither is willing to admit it...so the winds howl in angst of what could've been...or seemingly should be. But wait! :T)

And it won’t matter now
Whatever happens to me
Though the air speaks of all we’ll never be (I guess they don't get together...so the singer is basking in the lies...the momentum of the wind...the thought of what could've been. Everything suggests a partnership that didn't work out. The problem is...it doesn't really fit with the first set. Lying about the relation part may work, but what about the singer not being kind? Perhaps he is a dick, like Tucker Max, but with his one true love. I'm not sure...I'm becoming a pansy. Must be because I just watched You've got mail again with my parents)
It won’t trouble me

And it feels so close
Let it take me in
Let it hold me so
I can feel it say...

I apologize for more of my mindless drivel. Well, not really. This helps me clear my head.


My parents are too funny. We were watching you've got mail, but they were so confused. They were wondering why two unmarried people were sharing a bed. They couldn't understand why a partner would leave their SO's apartment in the morning. haha. I guess they're a little old-fashioned like that. I don't really care about that, except it cost me a pretty penny when I kept my own space at Stanford during my year off.

The movie also made me realize that what we sense and experience are inherently tied to our mental training. To rephrase that, we assume that people will obviously notice that there was a lot of dick in "The Piano" or that Magnum PI drove a red sports car. Not so! Maybe people have just trained their minds to pick up on these things. I've watched you've got mail over 20 times and I didn't notice Tom Hanks had an IBM thinkpad until after I got one. Then it automatically become one of the first things I noticed. My dad wondered what a unmarried couple would possibly want to do in bed together. My mom noticed that whenever a couple split, it was always the women who kept the apartments. Interesting...quite. Reminds me of my friend Dave talking about how the birdie in Badminton is called a flying nut sack or something like that. Sure dave...anyhow, I'm feeling a lot better now.

I'm excellent at antagonizing and mocking people I don't like. I'm not very good at keeping a grudge against family and friends. I was pretty PO at my bro earlier, but fuck it. Whatever...wachagoin'adoabutit. I'm ok with it now. Funny how that works out. Anyhow, Joe, hope you got a lot of turkey and maybe did a little stuffing of your own. peace.

Bender is feeling like a big pussy