Perhaps true love is a figment of our imagination

Response from the sagacious rabbit to my previous post: This guy should grow some balls and get other it.

Society has created a mirage of love and happiness. Everyone is always seeking the ever so elusive "the one." I hear women talking about him all the time. They saying things such as, "I'm not sure if he is the one" or "I let my true love get away." How do we know when we've found the one? Will we ever know? Is there even such a thing as the one? I've heard the one described as something that gives you a warm fuzzy feeling inside...Makes you feel comfortable. I guess that would make hot chocolate the one for me, or perhaps a King Henry cut at the House of Prime Rib. Either way, many people live out their lonely lives in fear of settling and missing out on spending the rest of their lives in the fabulous arms of their soul mate. For this very reason, many people live a miserable existance in solitude because they are holding out on a hope...hope can be a very scary thing. Wouldn't it be easier to just settle with someone that you like and are comfortable with?

Perhaps if people settled with someone, with the music and fanfare that welcomes the one, maybe then we'd be happy. I guess we could even give this event a name...how about marriage? I guess what I'm getting at is that the very thing that we think will make us happy may ultimately make us miserable. It's similar to the conspiracy of the diamond engagement ring. Many women are not satisfied until they have a karat on their ring finger. They are unsatisfied with their rock upon comparison to the Tiffany's rock on the finger of the Jones's. Of course, this is all silly. Diamonds are inherently worthless. There was a time when nobody wore diamond engagement rings. The diamond industry was a dying industry until Be Beers hired N. W. Ayer & Co. to start the diamonds = love, diamonds are forever campaign in the 30's. Then came the standard of the diamond engagement ring and the whole 3 months salary bit. Perhaps this wouldn't be so bad if diamonds kept their worth, but they're inherently worthless, compared to a staple of capital, such as gold.

Perhaps we would all be much happier if we learned what most of the world has already mastered: The fine art of settling. I personally think that settling is underrated. By this I don't intend to say that people should stay in a sexually charged abusive relationship or anything even remotely as exciting as that. Rather, it's something comfortable, like tea & biscuits. There may not be a burning fire, but there is always a date on Friday night, a head to lean on in the still of the night, and someone to make you chicken soup when you're sick.

But what about love? What about passion? The one? Well, it does seem like an awfully high price to pay for comfort...a chance to be happy. Happiness...well, that's a very subjective thing. However, I don't think settling necessarily equates to a world without love. What is love? Love is a splended thing. All you need is love. That's such eloquent bs. Most kids and many adults for that matter think that love is that special feeling you get when you're with that special person. I personally think that's infatuation. In my life, I've come to understand that love is a verb. To love someone is to make a decision; a choice to love someone. Regardless of how you feel about them at a given moment, one chooses to act in accordance with the best interests of the person that they love. This may entail letting that special person go. I guess the question really is, if you decide to love someone, does anyone actually fall in love? Who does one choose to love, and why? With whom does love grow?

My dad seems to think that people are pretty flexible and can love anyone. Except for people that they can't stand or have a strong gut reaction to upon acquaintance. I guess you can't really chance that. I'm still trying to figure out what love is and what love's got to do with it.

If true soul crushing love exists, sometimes I wonder if I've genuinely been "in love" as the world claims. I love my girlfriend and I have a really hard time imagining my world without her, but I don't really obsess about it. I'm not in love with the concept of being in love. Every time I think about love, desire and attraction, I come back to the Greek myth of tantalus. He basically suffers from perpetual hunger and thirst in hell. He is neck deep in water and inches away from food. Unfortunately, the water recedes when he reaches down and the wind blows the fruit away from him every time that he reaches for food. One day, if my memory serves me right, Persephone was walking through the domain of Hades. She took pity on Tantalus and gave him a drink. Oh the ecstacy! However, those were the last drops of water to touch his parched lips. The memory of that drink lingered forever to further torture him with thirst. Perhaps, once you've really loved the one, you'd rather live in a life of misery than settle, much like a heroin addict goes for a buzz despite the impending low times that follow the sublime. damn...love sucks.

Bender on love