am I worth it??

So friday was a wild night... I felt like the one thing I loved more than anything had gave up on me. I was upset and decided to handle it the best way I could, I blasted Panic! at the Disco and rocked back n forth in my metro-looking rocking/gaming chair and listened as I collected my thoughts. The next thing I know, the thing I was scared I had lost... did everything it possibly could to show me it didn't go away but needed me just as much I needed it. I sat there... wondering why she was fighting for me, not with me. How after so much shit I had given her, she was still there. I sat and wondered, how could I misinterpret everything so badly. I mean am I really that bad when it comes to reading girls feelings and actions? I guess I'm too stubborn, and have problems understanding that sometimes you need to be pushed away before you can be pulled closer. I was really sad friday night, I thought I lost something, but I ended up finding out that it wasn't lost it was just struggling to find the strength to fight for me.

I find myself asking... am I making the right decision, is she? Am I worth it? Am I worth the effort that she displayed friday, when I had started to lose hope she smacked me and showed me a focus that I had never seen in her. I start to wonder if the problems from the past will resurface... needless to say I didn't sleep friday night but instead spent the time discussing whether our love could survive. Of course we had to discuss it again on saturday... but so far, so good.

She's still fighting for me... maybe more than I am fighting sometimes... I hope I'm worth the trouble..

Joe is feeling happy because at the moment he thinks maybe he can get everything on track..