3 years too late

Fuck man, just wrote out a nice long blog and my pc crashed... I can't wait until the new macs are out..

Ok so let me remember...

I wish I was the same old Joe I was before, looking for a great girl who was accepting and into similar things as his weird fucked up self.

That joe would be fucking happy as hell right now. Instead... I'm a selfish bastard who is only interested in getting what he wants and obtaining success in the one aspect he never bothered with... his career... the one thing that takes more of your life than any other... basically my life.

I promised everyone that if I went ahead with this crazy fucking idea... that I'd bust my ass to succeed.

My entire adult life has been wasted chasing women, doing the stupid things for the stupidest reasons and believing I had something great. I never did, and if I keep up that behavior, I never will. You must sacrifice, if you don't... then you can't have success. Bender almost gave up his life to get where he is now... me? I never sacrificed shit as far as I am concerned.

This time, I'm doing it right and I'm going to sacrifice. I'm going to do my partying and avoid anything serious that might interfere with my plans. That means no serious relationships, because honestly... starting a restaurant or catering company requires time, time that makes a relationship impossible.

This is all great and easy when you don't meet great girls, except I met a great girl. She has a japanese Nintendo 64 for pete's sake... AND a Japanese version of Mario Kart and Mario 64. Yes... as nerdy as that sounds, it's a very hot thing to me. What's even hotter is she is a very attractive japanese girl with an accent that just sends chills down my spine when she says "chocolate chip".

It's an interesting story how I came to meet her, but it mostly involves me being a goofy ass weirdo walking up to a complete stranger in an empty sushi restaurant and saying "hi, today you are the luckiest girl in the world because you get to meet this really funny and weird guy". Her response was surprisingly, "really, well you might be the lucky one but we'll find out". Then I threw down two sake bombs, found out some about her and got her number. In my head I thought, maybe I'll go out to a club with her dance, maybe see where it goes. Nothing serious, just be a manwhore and hopefully not get any diseases. Next thing I know, she wants to meet for dinner and drinks, so I oblige. Next thing I know she wants to meet up again, she loves my confidence/cockiness and finds me hilarious.

She's great but something isn't right, so I decided to blow her off tonight. I'm kinda feeling like shit right now, but I'm going out with the boys tonight, and again tomorrow... to the meatmarket. Not to meet a new girl, but because I don't want a relationship, I want to be selfish for a while... and even with the holidays coming and it'd be great to have a date to events, I'd rather fly solo and be a selfish asshole.

I hope when I get to the promised land, when I have that nice house in la jolla next to dr. bender, I'm the same hopeless romantic dumbass I started off as. Because as of now, It doesn't feel like it.... but I guess that's something I might have to sacrifice... but hopefully it's only temporary.

joe out...