Skyscraper

I guess I'll pick up where you left off.

Had an interesting conversation with a friend, regarding economic trends in the world and economic trends within our own little scheme of things.

Then the conversation took a turn for the weird as he asked about Oni, and if I had seen her. I told him that I screwed up, decided to go back and try things out with Jenn again and have not heard from Oni since then. He then hung up on me and text me... "STUPID ASS"

Let's not forget that he is Oni's ex boyfriend and they had a fallout because she started to fall for me and especially hard once I broke up with Wendy. The girl spoiled me rotten and just wanted me to be Paul. Cuss, raise hell, and get into knife fights in school parking lots. She just liked Paul, because he was a weirdass motherf*cker who took shit from no one.

Now, I'm dating another japanese girl, this one named Maiko and she is one hell of a girl. Fashion designer, big house in anaheim hills, nice to me and appreciates my hateful and overly cynical remarks. She accepts me for the Paul that I am and loves my cooking. Yet I am not attracted to her as strong as I was my ex. My ex put up a struggle, she fought with me every step of the way.

I guess I realized, that if it isn't a challenge, I don't want it. I've always been like that, I have never wanted anything handed to me. I like starting from the bottom and fighting my way to the top.

Then I realized... If I was the one chasing Jenn, she was the one who settled??? The one who took the easy way out???

Someone chases, someone has it easy... do I always have to be the one fighting and scrapping. I constantly said I need to concentrate on my own shit. So if a girl is chasing me and I have it easy, I don't really need to lose focus on my goals, do I?

Thanks Jenn... you taught me something... sometimes it's better to be the lazy selfish bitch, and still get some.

Joe... still bitter, and still wanting that time back... but at least learning from the past.