can't be coincidence

I am at a loss for words right now.

Part of me wants to believe in fate, and part of me wants to deny it and keep on trekking through the shit I need to do and want to do.

School has been a dream thus far, and I am truly blessed for the opportunity I have at the moment. I have gained the support from my Chef and he's recommended me for a job or two that I will be interviewing for. Part of me feels lucky but part of me says that this is what I was supposed to be doing.

I got the opportunity to eat at supposedly one of the top 10 restaurants in Los Angeles, Jiraffe. Met the executive chef/owner, and grubbed down on some of the most extravagant food I've ever seen in my life. Was my first time I ever had Foie Gras or truffles or anything like that in my life. Had some really crazy stuff that night and I took pictures of the plating because some of it was SICKNASTY as Ja would put it. I think the best part about the whole thing is that my Chef used to be swing chef in the kitchen so we got treated like VIP's. We called 1 hour ahead of time to make a reservation, and we got crazy VIP treatment.

It was awesome cuz on my way to the bathroom I saw a lawyer I knew in that restaurant and he talked to me for a bit, and thought I was there with my Law School friends. When he found out what was going on with me, he was super happy. He kinda put some ideas underground for me, and made me happy to hear that he believed I made the best choice for myself. He said I was too mindful of the important things around me to trudge on through mundane tasks for the sake of keeping protocol. I was too practical and it felt good to hear it from him. He called me the next morning to invite me for golf and to talk since we only spoke for about 1 minute. I gotta say, as much as I hate on Lawyers and what they do, there are some nice ones in the world, they are just really rare. It was funny but he invited me to go to the ex partner of the Jiraffe's restaurant which is supposed to be one notch above Jiraffe's so I could make recommendations on what to order. I was kinda in awe at that offer, because I don't know anything about food yet, and I declined the offer and explained this. But he said he would really like me to go and that he was going to invite my old boss. It was funny cuz then I really declined and he was like ok, just golf and a sandwich. He's a funny guy, older gentleman but not too old, he never struck me as an LAish type of attorney, always reminded me of someone who would get along fine in a smaller city with less corruption(although there is no such thing).

This all got me thinking, where would I be right now without everything. Without everything that happened to me, if one thing was changed. Then I thought wait a minute it was all part of my destiny, everything I've done was part of my story, part of who I was. It couldn't be random, it couldn't have just happened by chance, because it was all important. Then I counter and say.... that's just your desire to be more important than what you really are. Which is also valid, people tend to glorify experiences to validate themselves and also add meaning to meaningless shit. We all do it, and we all deny it, but whatever it makes us feel important and good about ourselves... so fuck off.

side note to myself.... the thought that keeps crossing my mind, refuses to let me sleep... is this a coincidence, random chance, or was it in my destiny. Can I really have the one thing that I desire with no doubts. It's funny cuz I would make it final if I could, that sure, 100%. It's the only thing I don't doubt or question.... at the same time, there I go glorifying something trivial to the world... fuck off...

Joe out...