Can't Sleep

Damn... Less than 30 days and I'm gone, out of here.

Cold feet, not really.
Regretting it, not one iota.
Scared, you betcha.

I'm not making a mistake, but it was hard watching my grandma cry her eyes out at the thought of her baby moving out. Since I was little it's been her and I, and when my grandpa passed away, she only had me to attempt to hold up to his legacy. Now I'm leaving, with her blessings of course, but she is sad to see me go. My cousins are pretty much retarded, my brother is a hermit who still needs to go out and discover who he is. I hope one of them can step up and take care of my grandma until I gather enough funds to bring her up to Washington with me.

I wish I would have been stronger, much stronger, like bender strong, or Kim strong. It's weird but she always thinks of me holding her, taking care of her but she has it so mixed up. She's the strong one who holds me together, I admire her, she's never scared of anything, and even when she is, she does the right thing, always. Despite me getting the short end of the stick so many times (like everyone else I imagine) she shows me why I wake up in the morning, hope.

I'm jumping all over the place here, but I had a discussion with my grandma about my grandpa. I asked her what he would have said about me, quitting all those things and deciding to put all my marbles in the food industry. She said the one thing to me that I didn't want to hear. He would have disapproved, he would have yelled, and been pissed off. He would have been the exact opposite that my dad has been. It's scary, cuz I normally always see my dad as the villain. He's done a lot of wrong, and my grandpa, he's always been like Captain America to me. My idol, but when I thought about it, my grandma is right, my gramps was old school, he would have been ashamed his grandson was in the kitchen. Eventually he would have come around, cuz my grandma is the sensible one, and she would have talked some sense into him. Yet my dad, I usually give him the raw end, he's been the most supportive one of all. He never questioned me when I wanted to start this, he never questioned me when I told him I was moving up to Washington. The scary thing is, he's taking time off and driving up with me.

Somethings up with this year, it's officially going to be the year my entire life changed and was flipped around. Started my career and education in the food industry, hooked up with best girl ever, moving to seattle, my closest cousin and relative moved to kentucky, my mom apparently has cleaned her act up, and my dad is closer to me than ever....

I guess my cousin was right, 7 is the perfect number... whether he meant it for religious reasons or not... I can say that 2007 has been great to me.

Thanks...