Yo rabbit, I can never find yo ass. Stopped by the micu to look for you while I was doing post-ops. Anyhow, I'm getting through this month the way I usually get through stuff like this. Putting my nose to the ground and reaching for my ankles. So far I haven't gotten a wink of sleep on my nights of call except for the morning after call when we present to the attendings. Seriously, I can't stay awake in front of these guys. I get the impression that I'm not gonna get a good eval from them.
It's been a pretty rough month. My service is supposed to be a sink or swim service. For most of the time, I feel like I've been sinking. My chief has been good about trying to make me a better doctor/intern. She looks out for me and the 2nd year and I get along really well, so that's been nice. We all come from such different walks of life. My R3 is a persian, classy gal. Buys extra houses, family throws lavish $300k parties. It is so beyond me that we are worlds apart. Super nice, but we're pretty different. The R2 is a prelim guy who is busting his balls so that he can get a formal position in a residency program. General surgery makes no pretense about being hard nosed. We get the daily you've got to lean against the wind speech and the glory days of the chiefs pounding out 1500 cases each year. I feel like such a surgical loser. My attending told me to get a hair transplant and asked my R2 if he loves being a perpetual prelim when he answered a question wrong. Q3 in a general surgery service is rough.
The environment is definitely not as warm and friendly as cow-town. I'm missing that a lot. Moos, a davis grad has been looking out for me. I guess I'm pretty lucky. I'm surrounded by good people...it's just rough to stay focused in this place. I've already lost it a few times and am wondering if I'm gonna get written up. The system is so frustrating...nose to ground, pray that I become a better person/doctor.
-bender
Yo. Sounds like the first year is a bitch all around. Just gotta surround yourself with people who are at county because they want to be. Page my ass next time sucka! for MICU we have patients on 4 different floors so I'm always running around. When are you off next? Let's get some drinks.
ReplyDeleteI did a year internship at USC/LAC in 1982 which included 3 surgery rotations (It was called a "B" transitional internship then, "B" for surgery instead of "A" for medicine. It is tough. Keep up your energy and always try to protect your health. When I left for greener pastures (actually, UC Davis) they said that if you can make it at county, you can make it anywhere.
ReplyDeleteHang in there. It will get better. I too am realizing what a nice environment we did have in cowtown. Things are definitely rougher in the bigger city, bigger systems.
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