why....

Why has this lonely feeling hit me so much harder the longer I've been without it? It's weird but the more people tell me I'm free, the less free I feel. the more I think about my ability to do anything I want, makes me feel less motivated to do anything. Why do I spend so much time moping, when I got what I thought I wanted? Why do I find it so hard to sleep, unless I hear the golden voice? Why is it still a golden voice when it's been so long since it last spoke to me those 3 special words? Why do I miss saying bah humbug, and why do I want to say it, knowing anyone who hears it won't understand what it really means?

Why can't I have the happiness I had, where did it go wrong? Why can't I find my mirrormask and steal the happy life that other person is living right now while I'm in hell.

joe is whining like a bitch and cheering for his bruins...

if I can't have her anymore, please just let me have the ncaa championships... let my school win it, let me have one victory this year that seemingly has gone so wrong.

P.S. Apparently my name is on the no-fly list or some stupid shit. Reason I haven't received my passport is that there is some rapist/killer/kidnapper with my name who isn't allowed out of the country or state. Have to go to the federal building ASAP to get cleared so I can go to Japan... WOOO HOOO!!! This shit just keeps getting better and better.