7/2/06

I officially begin my first day in the hospital as a third year medical school tomorrow at 4 pm in the newborn nursery after peds orientation lets out at 4 pm. I'm scared shitless, but I think I'm mentally ready. Went to church today and took communion, came home and bawled my eyes out to Finding Nemo. I guess that officially makes me ready for peds.

Orientation in general was pretty boring, but there were a couple things that stuck with me. A guy with MS gave a talk. This guy was a UCD med grad and did his residency at Michigan, doing 118 hours a week. Five years into his practice, he came down with MS and had to quit because he could only work an hour a day or so. His meds are ridiculously expensive, he is broke, his friends and family has largely abandoned him. He was a broken bitter man...but I remembered his last comment. Remember what side of the bed you're on. On the right side is the doctor, in the bed is the patient. The patient doesn't want to be there and is somebody's mom, grandma, sister, whatever. Gotta daily remind myself that they don't wanna be there and I need to do whatever is in my power to give them whatever peace I can bring to the table. All this learning and staying up and all this shit...it's a huge privilege. I'm here because somebody thought that I could handle it and I will hear shit about people's lives that their kids and friends don't even know. It's an awesome responsibility . Don't know exactly what my schedule is gonna be like from now on, so I guess I'll mostly be posting this as a diary, largely for my benefit. =D

On a sidenote, I'm dogsitting this weekend for a friend. Man...this dog is a punk. Seriously...wins the award for least friendly dog ever. Never is happy to see me, bugs me until I pet it, then snaps at me to stop. Barks/growls whenever he wants something. Paws me to death when it needs to shit. Gives me no peace...comes and looks at me with those puppy-dog eyes when I'm eating so I get guilt tripped into feeding him pieces of chicken and watermelon from my meals. What a little bastard. dumb dog...I guess it's because it's old. Sleeps all days. Maybe he has arthritis, because all of his joints crack in the morning when he gets up. Wanted to take him for a walk, but he went crazy when i put a collar on him. Barking, spinning in circles and growling...had to very slowly take the collar off. Damn...gonna stay out of that bitch's way. I feel used.

-bender