TANG

This post should've been done months ago. Yesterday, I hung out with my boy in Davis. I haven't seen him in 3 months. He has lost a lot of weight, but he seems to be keeping it together very well. Since June, I've been trying to help friends recover from surgery and helping other friends deal with losses.

My ID badge always flips around. One side has my picture and the other side has writing with a marker. It stands for TANG, a mnemonic a friend of mine lived her life by.

T: take Care of yourself
A: ask questions
N: no regrets
G: be genuine

I got a call in the middle of the night early in June from my boy attic's sister. She told me that something terrible has happened and that I needed to come out to Davis. I booked it out to davis at 100+mph because I thought my boy was dead. I walked into the house and everyone just looked out at me through puffy eyes.

Angelina Malfitano, my boy's girlfriend had passed away in the morning. She was driving on the river roads and something caused her to drive into the other lane. A huge truck hauling a 3 horse trailer swerved to avoid her, the trailer flipped over and landed on Angelina's car, crushing her and killing her immediately. SF Chronic and Cal Aggie. The body was too mutiliated to be available for showing, but they let the family go in and hold her hand.

The next day, we drove out to the accident site. It was an amazingly peaceful site. Green rolling hills and wind turbines spinning away, making energy. The only evidence of the accident was skid marks and some leftover VW pieces. We spread some flower seeds and I stayed to help bury some roses to mark the location.

It was tragic. She was an amazing girl. She had a nickname for everyone and she really lived her life fully to change the injustices she saw around her. She was going to attend law school, but decided to work in East Los Angeles to work for Teach for America. She spent her summers working in DC to help fight for equal rights, and she counseled students in the LGBT community on campus. She was the right hand man of the chancellor. Her senior honors project detailed the history of the gay and lesbian community in Davis. Her work will be completed, preserved and maintained as a living testament.

Seriously, this girl was sunshine in so many peoples' lives. During the service, I remember a spoken word performance by her boss in the LGBT office. ...I lit a candle to remember Angie...it was short and kept dancing just like her. Then the flame went out. I wasn't ready for it to go out, so I relit it. Just one more dance...

She really gave me the strength go on. I was so bitter and jaded at the end of second year. She taught me to take care of myself and to really love others. That your actions make a difference, butteryfly effect. now she is gone...but I try to keep her memory alive.

During the whole ordeal, I remember being completely exhausted. During the day, myself and a few friends kept a 24 hour watch on our friend to make sure he didn't hurt himself. He just felt so guilty...why didn't he drive with her, why did he ask her to come back, etc...At night I talked to the family to make sure they were ok, and I spent the rest of my time studying for boards. I remember sitting in my kitchen, tired, but feeling really guilty. I was exhausted and my friend was in a world of pain, but in the back of my mind I was worried about studying for boards. I don't believe in ghosts, but for 15 seconds I felt Angelina's presence. She gave me a hug and didn't let me think about anything else. She told me everything was gonna be ok.

Keeping you in my thoughts friend.

-bender