frenzy time

Finished with week 2 and got my ass handed to me again. 3 kitchen classes are taking their toll on me and I feel like I need to practice. Going to make some chicken galantine this weekend for Kim and I baked some lemon bread thursday night for my grandma. I feel like if I don't do this shit as much as possible at home I won't retain it. Think I'm gonna get some port wine today, and poach a pear in it, it'll make a nice dessert over a nice nage sauce. Sometimes I wonder if I'm good enough then I bust out some nice plates and it reassures me I'm doing the right thing. Then there are times I totally get lost and find myself rushing to the finish line.

Last week was the first time in my life I killed another animal (not counting bugs or lizards cuz I think I killed a lizard a long time ago but I was like 8 so I'm not counting that). I had to kill a two lobsters and watch the dissection of another one who was alive. I know that all meat we eat came from a living creature, but I've never ended a life before. It made me sad for a while, well I'm guessing for a long time since I'm still reflecting on it. Watching the lobster curl up and just burn to death. They say they die faster if you drop them in scorching hot lava water, well I didn't get that luxury, I got to pour a hot water/vinegar mixture for flavor over him at a boiling temperature and watch him die only to discover that even when they are dead they keep moving ( a detail my chef didn't tell us until after class) and it made me feel worst thinking that he (yes I learned how to tell the difference in sexes) was suffering. Bah, it sucked cuz my group made me kill both the lobsters because none of them could bring themselves to kill it. But those fuckers were all good enough to eat my tasty lobster, bastards.

The encounters I've had with chefs are so different. There is zero consistency which kinda makes me happy and sad. The crazy badasses are the stiffs who believe that small portions encourage people to order more dishes and cost a bazillion dollars is the only way to present fine dining. The scary thing is, their food looks soooooo sexy but doesn't necessarily taste better. The people that are really mellow, usually quit the restaurant business and use their skills in other ways. Those are the kinds of people I think could be the most successful if they applied themselves in their lazy ways. Then there are those people who take the art as something that isn't necessary and I know they may or may not make it in the industry depending on the gimmick they use. I don't know where I will end up, but I'm pretty sure it's not going to be a stiff... I may be a lot of things but a sellout is not on the list.
It's not something that I want to obsess over, but not something I want to take half-hearted, and I definitely don't want to be gimmicky. I guess I have to find a medium that other great ones before me found, find that area I can thrive in and rock it.

Damn, the whole time shift thing for me is totally kicking my ass so far. From night classes and late nights to early mornings and no more late nights... its actually better for me but just taxing on me since I've been a nightowl since I moved down to SD. It's a good thing I have someone to whip my ass in shape.

I'm going up to seattle in June, and me and Kim would like to stop by in Sac if you have time so just let me know.

Joe out...