Sunday, June 24, 2007

the match

wow...I've been pretty stressed out lately. I've been trying to get all of my research stuff together, get my application in gear, work in clinic/OR and get facetime with the director, etc. Med school in general is an alienating process. You go through the trials and tribulations, interviews and all that good stuff. For the most part, you're on your own buddy. Since I'm doing an early match, I kind of feel like I'm not going through it with the rest of my class. Ultimately, training and the rest of life is every person's own journey, but I've never felt so much sink or swim before. Time to shore up the 20% of extrovert/friendly guy that I have left in me for the upcoming months. I miss the first two years of med school...those were a cake walk. Seriously.

-bender

Thursday, June 21, 2007

Devil's Advocate

Since we've got some downtime, the med students have been posting really solid advice to premeds. As a more-or-less traditional applicant, I'll throw in my two cents.

The good, the bad and the ugly

Being a traditional applicant has it's benefits. For starters, we're still young, so we're supposed to be have a lot of youthful energy. Something like that. One of the problems is the traditional applicant often doesn't really know why they want to become doctors aside from the general feeling that they want to contribute to society. The truth is, they spent most of their time scrambling to somehow get into medical school that they haven't really thought about why and worse yet, for whom. But honestly, even non-trad med students have a hard time figuring out what specialty/what they want to do with the rest of their lives.

There are benefits that come with youth, aside from reduced recovery time from a hang-over. For example, a lot of the older med students are married with kids. Their significant others will divorce them if lets say they decided to go into surgical oncology where it is 5 years surgery + 2 years research + 3 years fellowship. I mean, come on. There are bills to be paid, children to be raised and time that needs to be put into maintaining a relationship. Therefore, I see a lot of students who would normally have gone into surgery, go into something else, such as radiation oncology, in order to have time and money for their families. On the flipside, there are a lot of us who'd love to have a loving family to go home to after a rough day in the hospital.

For you young gunners, myself included. Listen to the non-trads because they know what they're talking about. Enjoy life. Eat and be merry. Seriously, looking back at my undergrad career, my only regret is not having spent more time goofing off with my friends. That being said, don't fail your classes/MCAT and fuck up your future. Life does not stand still while you go through school. The whole bust your ass during undergrad, work hard in med school and residency, then make a family thing. You know, it doesn't always work out that well in real life. If somebody special comes along, even if you have to make a few compromises, you do whatever it takes to make it work. There's no guarantee of happiness or delayed gratification. Your work=life is your gratification. If you don't love what you're doing...I'm sorry, it doesn't really get much better. It is what it is. Do what you love and love what you do. Seriously. For all the people who rushed through undergrad in 3 years with their double majors and saved money by living at home. Well, I feel sorry for you guys. There are a lot of them in medical school who are really smart, but are incredibly selfish and have no social skills. I'm no don juan, but I get by with a little help from my friends.

For those of you who's parents are making you become a doctor, just stop. It's pathetic. You're old enough to know that you can make your own life choices. However, there is a saving grace. Medicine is one of those special fields where there is a niche for everyone. For the bleeding hearts who want to work in inner-city clinics, those definitely exist. For those fascinated by science and not turned off by the morbid, there's pathology. For you antisocial computer geeks, there's radiology. If you want to sell out and be a whore, you can do that too by working for the drug companies or joining hospital administration. There is a path for all. Medicine welcomes all who are smart and work hard. Compassion helps, but there are fields that don't require it. Worst case scenario, there are lines that you can learn to use in doctoring that makes it look like you care about your patients.

But yea, no looking back. Live without regrets. Once you start med school, it's hard to drop out and pay back those loans. Looking at my repayment plan, I feel guilty, but I'm glad that I'll be able to pay back my loans if urology works out for me. Aiite. Peace out.

-bender

Monday, June 18, 2007

My eval from psych

I hate psych...so much.

yea...I really didn't give a shit. "Some staff," aka my chief resident, hated me.

-bender

Thursday, June 14, 2007

cecelia and scott...nerd love


















Wednesday, June 13, 2007

This is exactly the type of thing "Sicko" is outraged about

This is even the exact same fucking hospital where a little girl in the movie got screwed over because the hospital refused to provide care to her because she was a Kaiser pt.

Woman dies in ER lobby as 911 refuses to help
Tapes show operators ignored pleas to send ambulance to L.A. hospital
The Associated Press
Updated: 7:43 a.m. PT June 13, 2007

LOS ANGELES - A woman who lay bleeding on the emergency room floor of a troubled inner-city hospital died after 911 dispatchers refused to contact paramedics or an ambulance to take her to another facility, newly released tapes of the emergency calls reveal.
Edith Isabel Rodriguez, 43, died of a perforated bowel on May 9 at Martin Luther King Jr.-Harbor Hospital. Her death was ruled accidental by the Los Angeles County coroner’s office.
Relatives said Rodriguez was bleeding from the mouth and writhing in pain for 45 minutes while she was at a hospital waiting area. Experts have said she could have survived had she been treated early enough.

County and state authorities are now investigating Rodriguez’s death. Relatives reported she died as police were wheeling her out of the hospital after the officers they had asked to help Rodriguez arrested her instead on a parole violation. Sheriff’s Department spokesman Duane Allen said Wednesday that the investigation is ongoing.

In the recordings of two 911 calls that day, first obtained by the Los Angeles Times under a California Public Records Act request, callers pleaded for help for Rodriguez but were referred to hospital staff instead.

“I’m in the emergency room. My wife is dying and the nurses don’t want to help her out,” Rodriguez’s boyfriend, Jose Prado, is heard saying in Spanish through an interpreter on the tapes.

“What’s wrong with her?” a female dispatcher asked.
“She’s vomiting blood,” Prado said.
“OK, and why aren’t they helping her?” the dispatcher asked.
‘They’re just watching her’“They’re watching her there and they’re not doing anything. They’re just watching her,” Prado said.
The dispatcher told Prado to contact a doctor and then said paramedics wouldn’t pick her up because she was already in a hospital. She later told him to contact county police officers at a security desk.

A second 911 call was placed eight minutes later by a bystander who requested that an ambulance be sent to take Rodriguez to another hospital for care.
“She’s definitely sick and there’s a guy that’s ignoring her,” the woman told a male dispatcher.
During the call, the dispatcher argued with the woman over whether there really was an emergency.

“I cannot do anything for you for the quality of the hospital. ... It is not an emergency. It is not an emergency ma’am,” he said.
“You’re not here to see how they’re treating her,” the woman replied.
The dispatcher refused to call paramedics and told the woman that she should contact hospital supervisors “and let them know” if she is unhappy.
‘May God strike you too’“May God strike you too for acting the way you just acted,” the woman said finally.

“No, negative ma’am, you’re the one,” he said.
The incident was the latest high-profile lapse at King-Harbor, formerly known as King/Drew. The Los Angeles County Board of Supervisors is investigating claims of recent patient care breakdowns, including Rodriguez’s case.

Federal inspectors last week said emergency room patients were in “immediate jeopardy” of harm or death, and King-Harbor was given 23 days to shape up or risk losing federal funding.
‘Fundamentally a failure of caring’Dr. Bruce Chernof, director of the county Department of Health Services, which oversees the facility, has called Rodriguez’s death “inexcusable” and said it was “important to understand that this was fundamentally a failure of caring.” He has said conditions are improving, though.

A call Wednesday seeking comment about the 911 tapes from the department’s communications office, which handles information about the hospital, was not immediately returned.
Dr. Roger Peeks, the chief medical officer at the hospital, was placed on “ordered absence” Monday, the Times reported. Health officials declined to elaborate, saying it was a personnel matter. Dr. Robert Splawn, chief medical officer for the health department, was named interim chief medical officer, the newspaper said.

© 2007 The Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.
URL: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/19207050/?GT1=10056

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Sicko...



















I ended up getting a last minute hook-up and got a chance to watch Michael Moore's new movie Sicko. A big deal was made of it and Michael Moore came out for a Q&A session after the showing. It was great to chat with people who work at the capitol and knew the difficulties of politics. There were workers protesting for health care for native american casino employees. Politicians would like to help out these employees, but they're non-union and dealing with them would anger their union base. Lots of hard decisions. Anyhow, the movie. It blew my mind away. It didn't present anything original, but it made me question many things.

1. It was like receiving CBT and correct all the distortions that my third year of medical school placed in my mind. In the hospital, there's something called "the game." Every resident has a certain number of patients, and the resident to discharge all of his patients wins the game. A lot of times, patients leave before they're ready to leave. Most of the time, residents hate having patients on their service, curse their patients under their breath and do everything within their power to get their patients out of the hospital. I don't know if it's just training in the US or if hospitals are like that around the world. What's wrong with the picture here? What ever happened to treating our patients like human being by treating their disease and making sure that they had a safe place to go to. When did it become ok to drop off patients on the corner of P and 35th? For the record, it's damn not ok to drop off patients there.

2. A big thing that Moore picks out is the death of the American soul. The loss of our values. We are so complacent and scared to take a step. To stand for what is right. We're trained to be self-reliant and be the best, often at the price of compassion for the less fortunate. By the end of this blog, I'm going to become complacent. I'm going to feel powerless and wonder what I could do to change the world. The feeling of powerlessness has crippled our generation. During the movie, some people felt Moore was being unpatriotic. In many ways, I felt like deep inside we were jealous at the Laissez-faire attitude of the Europeans and their outcries at any attempt to alter their charming way of life. We would have at best gone out with a whimper.

The stuff in the movie. It's all been said and done. Still, it knocked my socks off. Let me know what you think after you see it.

-bender

Sunday, June 10, 2007

new discovery

I love finding new great things that I love. I went to watch Knocked Up with me lady this weekend. Heard the greatest song...Loudon Wainwright III is awesome. Listen to Grey in LA.

-bender

Saturday, June 09, 2007

come on now guys...

A string of emails have been going around the list server on the med school campus about walmart. I think we're all in agreement that it is the evil empire. However, Walmart's success goes to show that either people are not informed, they just don't give a shit if someone else is subsidizing the low price or they're too poor to not shop there. Either way, I'm debating whether or not to order a GPS device there. Same item, low price. Hard to argue against in a free market. Maybe it would work better if we just imposed an industry standard in that everyone should get full-time hours, benefits, etc. That way, we aren't hounded for buying the cheapest product. Perhaps it goes to show the ridiculous price of health care and the toll it takes on American business. But I digress...

There have been chains of emails going around. Some have been informative and insightful. Others...well, judge for yourself.

"One day I bought some cheap sunglasses at Walmart and 2 weeks later they were broken. Another day, I bought some kind of cheap canned food and it tasted like dog food. Well, it's possible it was dog food for real, because all the cans look the same there. What if people go get drugs there and end up with dog food huh?"

You can't be serious. This sounds like a junior high argument. Maybe it's because of the european perspective. Maybe I'm just a jerk. When emailing the entire school + staff/administration, don't send out emails like this. Just don't.

-bender

Thursday, June 07, 2007

Fashion in Design

I've turned into a t-shirt and jeans guy, but in a previous life, I used to enjoy nice threads. There's an article in the NYtimes that I found pretty upsetting. Celebrities who have been churning out new designer labels are flooding the markets and making it difficult for designers who have been working their tails off behind the scenes for years to break out.

This article resonates with my partially deep seated lack of respect for the majority of modern celebrities. A few celebrities such as Elizabeth Taylor and Audrey Hepburn will always remain classy in my mind. Sean Combs, J-Lo and the Olson twins wills always remain cheap in my mind. Sorry french dave. I'd be lying if I said that I don't enjoy ghetto tunes as much as the next guy, but the market is creating an industry that prevents the designer equivalent of Rachmaninoff from breaking through. Honestly, it's tragic.

I guess it's a reflection of what the public wants. Trashy cheap clothes. But wait. These folks are coming out with high end lines, with the olson twins selling a line called "The Row," at Barney's in New York. I just wonder who these people are. Who is willing to spend that kind of money for crap designs? It's a free country, but it makes me sad. It makes me shudder to think of future generations wearing Sean Combs suits. When did that become classy? I'd always dreamed of Zegna suits, paired with Thomas Pink shirts and Hermes ties. What about the beautifully crafted wedding dresses by Vera Wang that are ripped off by local dress-makers around the globe? It looks like name recognition supersedes talent and quality. Perhaps it's my own snobbery and bias in name recognition and supposed quality.

What do I know about fashion anyway?...how odd.

-bender

Monday, June 04, 2007

Nothing to lose

Hey Joe,

It was awesome hanging out with you the past week. I've gotta hand it to you. I cried during Rocky Balboa...it's a damn good movie. Anyway, on to my post.

There are few things scarier than a man who has nothing to lose. My patient today was a career military man. He received a dishonorable discharge and has been struggling to transition back to civilian life. He is akin to an incarcerated criminal. He can't find a job, his 9 kids and 4 ex-girlfriends don't love him. He has no friends and he gets treated like shit because of the color of his skin. His health is crap - metabolic syndrome plus prostate cancer. This guy has nothing.

When I asked him why he didn't take his psych medications, he didn't respond. He kept looking away like he was responding to internal stimuli. Then he turned to me with his eyes bulging out and said, "Sometimes I go crazy. You never know what I'm gonna do. I don't even know what I'm gonna do." Then he started going off about how all he thought about every day was finding new ways to kill people. He said this was to protect him from the evil conspiracy that was keeping him from succeeding. This guy was huge with 23 years of military training. I started to worry a little when he turned to the side and I caught a glimpse of the knife in his pocket. This was the first time in my med school career where I didn't feel safe or in control of the situation. The guy was between me and the door, so I kept reflecting his frustration about not being able to transition into society and waited for him to diffuse. Luckily, he changed from wanting to kill others to wanting to kill himself. Then he broke down and started crying. That's when I got the hell out of there and called the cops with my attending to 5150 this guy.

Update: This guy escaped from the "hospital" yesterday. The sheriffs are out looking for him and I have a nagging suspicion that he is going to come looking for me to get his knife back. Whatever.

-bender

My college friends are such dorks. We rolled down the streets of LA blasting "Party like a rockstar" with our windows rolled down. Yeah...true thugs. Between us, we were harvard lawyers, a doctor, a US consulate diplomat and myself. Yeah...badass. alright...