break time

So I'm sitting here bumping "dress you up" by madonna grooving to the music and pondering over the next few years I am going to involve myself in. I have sat down and thought about this for about 4 days and have come to the conclusion that I have graduated... done what I had to do )or what I thought I had to do to make my family happy). Now it's "hips don't lie" by the hottie shakira. So I'm going to have to execute this plan I've come up with complete dedication. No more chickenshit cop outs, if I'm going to do something that my parents disagree with I have to put my whole heart and soul into it. I have already told them and heard each ones reaction and well, too bad. My father was pleasantly supportive and my mother was pretty upset but whatever. Now I have to tell my grandma and that can wait, my grandma is my biggest supporter and has always told me to be the best at whatever I do. So I have my interview tomorrow, wish me luck...

On a side note, now is not a time to worry about females, they only fuck shit up. Besides... no matter what girl I come across, none have seemed to give me that "better than my ex" feeling. I don't know but I have been thinking about my feelings and trying to logically place everything. All signs point in another direction but... my heart says I should be with her. I've always been able to beat myself with logic and I have never tried to be that hopeless romantic, but I don't know... are people capable of change. Can relationships change, and even if I did go back how would she react not talking or seeing me in 4 months. Has she moved on, am I feeling empty because I'm in this house, the house I repaired for us to live in. So many things you can't escape. Including these feelings that won't seem to go away.

joe is focused on his goal, happy that he's confronted his family... but wondering if it is truly over with her. If him standing up to his fears, has someone changed something inside of him. Blah too much thinking.. time to eat some lunch and laugh with the token white guy.