I'm never drinking again (again)

Wow, so three weekends straight where I promise not to drink again. This one burned the worstests but felt the bestests. Went to SD but I didn't go to Jenn's kicking the door down to get my shit or anything (i'm just going to let her keep it/burn it) but instead I visited Blizair and Brandon my homeboys who I met while living down there. Picked up my mini fridge and then came back up to LA all before saturday evening.

As soon as I got home My cousin Jr. and Jerry and his gf Connie were on their way to pick me up to go cruising and chill in Santa Monica. So I showered and got ready for the evening. We went, saw, chilled, and argued as usual. On the ride back I guess I couldn't contain it anymore and brokedown from my relationship ending and just started spitting out mass amounts of crap. We decided to go to Ivan's party to cheer up and it was on. I decided that I would not hold on to my baggage after that evening and the best way to spit it all out would be to get drunk be happy and spill my guts. Well lo-and-behold everyone and their baby's momma was there. It was fantabulastic. All my wrestlers were there and a couple of new people. As soon as I got there, I took down 5 shots of tequila within 30 minutes. During the course of the night I hit 12, and 3-4 random drinks that dru/brian made for me. It was great because I got to hang out with all my friends and my new friends Jerry and Connie. The night ended with me kidnapping Dru's gf and ranting about my ex to her, and Quiche breaking his head on plywood and arguing with Connie for no reason. Before we went home we all decided to get some food at some asian restaurant. SOMEHOW I got left behind in the middle of the street and had to call everyone to bitch them out. Eventually someone came to get me (apparently everyone else thought that someone else was taking the drunk, but no one did (BASTARDS!!)) After being at the restaurant drunk, and wasting my money cuz all we did was throw food around and harass the waiters we drove home. It was entertaining because listening to 4 drunk guys sing 80's at the top of their lungs is something that you must experience before you die.

The next morning, I woke up sober (at 1pm)... I was kind of pissed because I never got the crazy crazy drunk experience I wanted... only the drunk experience. Well at that point me and Jr. called Jerry and he picked us up so we could go get Connie and then eat. Well when we arrived at Baja Fresh... my drunkness hit me. Wow, it felt fucking strange, like a delayed reaction. So after they ate, they took me home and I passed out. Only to have everyone rally at my house again so we could go eat ice cream and play cards.

Since hanging out with my 3 non-paying roomies (Che, Jerry, Junior) I have had an interesting adventure every week.

On a side note, I did not get to hang out with Eileen in SD due to us missing each other's calls repeatedly. However we did talk on the phone and she invited me to her bday party. I will keep you updated on that... She still sounds cute on the phone (just wanted to add that). Also Che noted that he was amazed at how nervous I was on the phone with her, which I agree with. Usually I handle talking to women rather smoothly but lately I've been out of it, but with her I've never been smooth.

Hopefully you are feeling better Bender and I wish you were in LA cuz not a week would go by where we didn't have an adventure worth remembering to tell our grandkids.

Joe out...

It happened today, now it's time to move on

Because of the events that took place over the last month or so, I've been a little out of it. The stable life that I had created in my mind was knocked out from under me and I was left feeling like I lacked a foundation. I had pegged much of who I was on someone else, and that was stupid. I'm not very good about letting it out or letting go, but I guess it was bound to come out sooner or later. With moving, being shit tired and all the stuff going on inside of my head, I fell apart today. It was a rather inopportune time I do admit. The med school hosted a fancy ass wine tasting event and charity auction to fundraise for the student run auctions. It's an incredibly important and noble event, but I wasn't having none of it. After a string of bad conversations, I was constantly reminded of what I missed in my life, but more importantly, I went back to an earlier stage in development. In retrospect, it was rather amusing. I went back a couple of defensive stages and became the scared shitless little kid that I was in high school. I couldn't play it cool, all the small stupid shit became exaggerated in my head and I just had to get the hell out of there. So I took off...walking down the street with an empty wine glass in my hand. It was kind of nice being out, didn't want to be around people, yet I couldn't help but feel incredibly alone. After following a lady for about 100 meters while she did lunges, all the while walking her dog, I saw a car parked illegally on the side of a major highway. My boys (literally and figuratively) were driving around looking for my lame ass. They missed out on a great event, skipped out on schmoozing with important ass people and drove my ass over to grab some coffee and some fries with peach ketchup. They didn't give me shit as I cried like a little bitch and they just went on with it...everything was played cool...and as the night wore on, it did become cool. The night ended with a viewing of the 40 year old virgin, and it was very apropo. Asia's heat of the moment played and some things were let go. It's interesting how clear things are in hindsight...20/20 hindsight vision shit. It's true...when you're under a lot of pressure and stress...you break down and can't handle really simple shit, like schmooze at functions. You do stupid shit and then you kick yourself, rather than picking up the ball and continuing the game. I can't be more than who I am. I walked into tonight with a handful of friends and I walked away with a handful of friends. Thanks. Looking back on high school, I got a lot of shit done. I didn't really build a lot of relationships at that time...grades, SAT's and all that bullshit. It's important and it's responsible for where I am today. However, I saw a lot of sad insecure docs at today's function. You know what, I'd rather be a happy FP doc, chilling with my loved ones grilling up some ribs over some mesquite. A big thanks to law, dave and ags. And Joe, you've had my back from the getgo. Fuck everyone else, this is where I wanna be.

-Bender

I never noticed

I'm packing my stuff up to get ready for the big move out to sac. I'm bleeding in like 6 different places from papercuts that I got while moving books, papers, shit like that. You don't notice a misplaced piece of paper, slash, you get hacked by some stupid invitation to attend some dinner with some asshole named Huey in family practice. It's like everything around me has a razor sharp edge...just waiting to take a jab at me whenever I happen to walk by. I need this move...I need to get out of this town. It's full of thorns and thistles that cling to me and poke at me every time I move. The silence of my room overwhelms me in the evenings and I go to sleep with my heart pounding in my throat. I need to get away from all the cynics in this town. Mostly, I just need a fresh start. I don't want anything left to remind me of the way it used to be. 1 month, 9 days and counting. Fuck you.

-bender

Seriously, I hate ebay

seller: "I am sorry you have not received your dvd yet. go ahead and leave whatever
feedback you would like, but the dvd is on its way.

Sorry that your 5 dollar dvd is ruining your life."

-bender

Bitch, I don't need your sarcasm. Just give me my damn spiderman dvd and nobody gets hurt.

Ebay...damn, I miss my girl. Damn...yea...walk it off. Fucking Ebay. Seriously, Ebay can suck my big fucking nuts. Everything was awesome before they kept loading projects on her...in the beginning it was great because she was involved in lots of cool projects and got to travel around the world. Then it all went to shit once her mind wasn't in it, she was physically never around and eventually, she was just not there for me. Fuck you. So what do I do...work my ass off in bitterness? Slack off in retaliation? I could go fuck a ho, but what the fuck would that prove. Fuck you and your unforgettable bliss...lol, the irony. Damn, my stomach is killing me, having somatiform symptoms. I'm becoming as crazy as those shit loons in the psych ward. Leave me be to rock in my corner. Moving on while I'm barely getting by...Chris Cagle, my essential lyricist.

The list has been updated

More crack for my soul...

-bender

damn...I was hoping this time I'd spread out the reading so that I wouldn't be left in withdraw. Nope. Blazed through it. Another long dry month.

Wishing on a star...

So here I am, sitting in my office (glorified cubicle as meghan calls it) wondering what me and my crew are doing tonight. We've designated tonight "domino" night and we are supposedly going running. I can't wait to go buy Domino (drool) because Keira Knightley is probably the most beautiful thing ever. I can't be sure but I think it's her tiny frame and the way her lips curl that have me sprung on her. So anyways back to my thought... so I am on the phone with our accountant and OMG... there is nothing hotter than a Japanese girl with a awesome accent. I don't know how she looks but just hearing her... woooo hooo... got me excited about Japan again. I was talking to Che about this and saying how I'd like either a Japanese girl with an accent or a British girl because I find the way the women talk with that accent to be hot. I remember working on the UK Support for Sony and hearing the ladies talking on the phone and I'd be like... damn... that's hot.

On a side note I was looking through che's pictures on his cell phone and came across one in vegas I forgot about. We took it at the Coke store and it's basically me holding a shirt that says "I traded my girlfriend in for a Coke". HAHA.. that is soooooo something I would do or try to do. On a sider note, GO BUY THE NEW BLACK CHERRY VANILLA Coke, it is the greatest soda to come out since Coke.

Joe is out.. wishing he had a coke and a black cherry vanilla coke to drink right now.

Walking in Step...

It's been a while since my last post, so let me give you an update.

I've moved into my place and am currently working on it so the upstairs is set to go. I have no internet and the central a/c-heater isn't working properly. The A/C is just fine.. the heater.. is not. My house is hella cold and I hate the cold very much so right now... I'm not the happiest camper when I'm home.

So during the weekend I spent a lot of time with my dad. Me and my dad hardly talk and there is a huge empty space in the middle of us that I call my Terry. She's an evil woman but we'll put that off for another conversation. So this weekend was really something, I hung out with my pops for an extended time and it was spent doing something other than fixing the house. We watched the all-star game and went out to eat on Sunday for his birthday. It was kind of odd having drinks with my dad but it was quite enjoyable. We had a lot of interesting conversations between us, and the topic of my ex-gf/ex-gf's came up. I guess from my dad's standpoint I've never been with a great woman. Now his definition of a great woman is a girl who will be on the same page as me when it counts and someone I fit in with. Not someone obedient, not someone smart, not someone dumb,not anything to that extent, not necessarily gorgeous (he knows I'm the jealous type). Someone who can be my family... not be part of my family or be part of her family but be MY family. Of course I can't expect anyone to abandon their family nor be expected to abandon my familia... but priorities be on our family. I find it interesting because is that the success to a happy marriage? Finding someone who is compatible... someone you love... but don't necessarily have to be in love with??

This topic hit me hard because most people would overlook it. Most people would say that is something stupid to even consider... of course you have to be in love with the person. Now that I really dig into it, maybe we just have it wrong. My generation is so set on their love and what we've been told love is that maybe we have it wrong. There is not an ounce of doubt that marriage is not as sacred as it once was. Divorce rates are at an all time high, or so they say. Now I sit and wonder... could love be the culprit. Could the fact that we try to be compatible with someone we are in love with, instead of forcing ourselves to love those we are compatible with BE the real reason for the short-lived relationships/marriages nowadays. I know there are many other factors... religion, finances, backgrounds, etc.. but I can't help but think that maybe... just maybe this fairy tale bullshit we were fed about love is why we are so fucked up. Maybe we should look to those we are compatible with instead. Maybe we should go for those we are "in love with" instead of those we "just love". I don't know what is right... but..

I applied this to my last relationship... Jenn..

I loved this girl, I loved being with her, smelling her, kissing her, being intimate with her. Just her very essence would send tingles down my body. I had a passion for Jenn that I never knew I could have. But we were the least compatible people ever, I was left.. she was right, I was up... she was down. It never ended, we couldn't get on the same page. I moved down for her, she wouldn't move up for me. For every step we took towards each other.. we ran 20 seconds away (literally). It finally had to stop, we had to stop. We loved each other soooooo much, but we couldn't force that compatibility, we couldn't change who we were.. who we were destined to be. I wouldn't want her to change who she was because that would mean the girl I was with... was not the girl I fell in love with. It was destined to fail from the start I guess. But you know what... there was never a lack of love. This just leads me to think... maybe my dad was right. Maybe I was looking for a fairy tale and not reality. I don't have a regret from being with Jenn, she was the only girl I could say was the love of my life. I'd turn my back on my friends for her.. and I did.. just like the song goes..

When a man loves a woman
Can't keep his mind on nothing else
He'll trade the world
For the good thing he's found
If she's bad he can't see it
She can do no wrong
Turn his back on his best friend
If he put her down

I did learn a lot from that girl, and I've learned a lot from my dad. I think these two people who never had a conversation in their lives... just collaborated on something very big in my life. I just don't have it all figured out yet.

Thanks Jenn...

Thank you dad, and happy birthday...

Joe Out

NBA Live, why do you mock me!

I lost to Mark Madsen, 20-18, using Andrei Kirilenko. Wow, I suck.

Heartache

I thought Craig had added new listings to the best-of-craigslist because the links were a fresh blue, rather than the sloppy-second purple color that ho'd out links have. Damn...it was only because my cookies or something had refreshed. Oh well. Back to browsing the classifieds for a place to live.

-bender

Perchance to dream

I just had an incredibly refreshing experience/conversation piece with a friend.

bender: do you want to play along for a couple of minutes?
bender: I'm having this weird thought
bender: you'd be a librarian
bender: you know the type...hot, horn-rimmed glasses with hair pinned up in a french braid
bender: and i'd be the ghetto pizza boy
bender: that makes pizza the old fashioned way
special friend: ok
bender: tossing up dough to passerbys
bender: and every few days I stop by
bender: to ask for recommendations
bender: to try to improve myself
bender: kind of like in sweet home alabama
bender: and each time, it would be a very sensual experience
bender: you picking through my brain
bender: trying to find a niche
bender: something that you can add a little bit of yourself into
bender: because it's in your head too
bender: and you'd be opening my head like a book
bender: my life
bender: and sharing experiences with me
bender: except, I'd be experiencing it in a differnet way
bender: the way that we all experiences things differently
special friend: uh huh
bender: and this would go on for a while
bender: and I'd see you
bender: you'd be in a coffee shop reading a book
bender: and I'd be walking by
bender: make eye contact
bender: and join you
bender: because you'd be sitting on a stool, facing the window
bender: and I walk in
bender: and we have this amazing conversation
bender: and we keep bumping into each other
special friend: uh huh
bender: ...i'm drawing a blank
bender: need your help to finish this story
bender: and one day you come into my pizza shop
bender: with your intellectual friends
bender: and i'd be embarrassed
bender: in my white t-shirt and white apron
bender: with pizza sauce on my shirt
bender: and I'd have a fluffy hat
bender: you try to say hi
bender: something
bender: but i escape to the back
bender: and i smoke a cigarette
bender: this isn't a ghetto alley
bender: although it is an alley nonetheless
bender: it's one of those new york alleys
bender: where there is smoke rising from the sewage grates
bender: and out of the corner of my eye
bender: i see you leaving
bender: walking away with your friends
bender: you say bye to a friend in particular
bender: a man
bender: with thick black hair
bender: and you pull away with extended arms
bender: letting your fingers linger
bender: just oh so long
bender: and it dangles and you walk away
bender: because you see me
bender: and i nervously drop my cigarette and put it out
bender: lean against the brick wall
bender: with one knee flexed
bender: oh...we'll say the left
bender: and you'll come up to me
bender: we're in an alley, but a light falls over your eyes
bender: and you subtly move aside a lock of hair that has fallen over your forehead
bender: and you smile
bender: ...
bender: what do you say?
bender: the camera zooms out
bender: and we see the couple talking
bender: not the intellectual talk
bender: because she is in his zone now
bender: but he is no longer in his comfort zone
bender: what is it about this mysterious woman the bewitches him
bender: what does he fear?
bender: the next scene isn't like oh so many others
special friend: he fears the loss of mystery
bender: perhaps...
special friend: the intrusion of intimacy
bender: it doesn't start with the couple waking up next to each other
bender: with a rose on his pillow
special friend: once he starts talking to her, he loses the fantasy he has built up around her
bender: perhaps...
bender: he stop coming by the library
bender: she wonders
bender: what happened?
bender: was it something I said?
special friend: hmm but what did she say?
bender: and so they drift apart
special friend: what has she said
bender: I wonder myself
bender: some time later, she is sitting in front of her computer at work
bender: distracted
bender: she twirls her hair
bender: and spins around her chair
bender: yet she can't shake the feeling
bender: that she has lost something
bender: something she treasured
bender: her friends are going out that night
bender: despite her wish to stay in and read jane austin, they drag her out
bender: cut to a house party
bender: a wine and cheese party would make more sense
bender: no, this is a posh club
bender: and she is walking down the stairs and she makes eye contact
bender: with a familiar set of eyes
bender: that penetrate into her soul
bender: and she stops dead in her tracks
special friend: the man with black hair?
special friend: or you?
bender: time stands still
bender: we'll say the man with black hair
bender: in no time, if it's me, it's gonna be the man with no hair
bender: should she go say hello?
bender: she stumbles down the stairs
bender: goes to the bar
bender: and orders up a cosmo
bender: it's not fate
bender: the gentleman hadn't requested a drink be brought for her
bender: she slumps a tad
bender: and she stirs her drink
bender: maybe it was all in her head
bender: we can go two ways
bender: she can feel a tap on her shoulder
bender: or...she can sit there wondering the whole night
bender: she goes home
bender: she remembers faces
special friend: its too easy if someone taps her
bender: people had come up to talk to her
special friend: predictable
bender: but none too familiar
bender: Years later, she has moved on
bender: she works writing stories
bender: you submits shorts to the new yorker
bender: doing quite well for herself
bender: owns her own flat
bender: she is sitting in her lazy-boy
bender: reading the newspaper when a review catches her eye
bender: a new play receiving wide acclaim
bender: a new playwright
bender: sure, why not
bender: she puts it off for a while
bender: and a friend mentions it again
bender: strange
bender: she moves to watch the play
bender: imagine the ahmanson
bender: palace of concrete
bender: and she walks by water
bender: with light beaming from underwater lamps
bender: carrying her coat over her forearm
bender: the play...it all seems so familiar
bender: too close to be deja vu
bender: it strikes a chord within her
bender: and stirs something
bender: a flicker of life
bender: of light
bender: that is all so often doused
bender: what do you do?
special friend: i wander
special friend: looking for the familiar set of eyes
special friend: i'd get frantic
special friend: if i was unable to find something
special friend: i'd ask
special friend: but i'd need to see the rest of play...
special friend: a moment of de ja vu is normal
special friend: happens frequently
bender: you assume that it's intermission
special friend: mmm i see
special friend: go to make a fone call
special friend: to another girlfriend
special friend: a close friend, who was with me at the pizza place that one day perhaps?
special friend: or even call the man with black hair
bender: I don't know...
special friend: marvel at the coincidence
bender: All so new, yet all so familiar
bender: and in the end, all we're left with is what we started with in the first place. A feeling
bender: thank you for going on a ride with me

how I'm feeling right now...
Counting Crows - Raining in Baltimore
I need a sunburn...

Article on mixed racial dating

This is an interesting article I ran into today. There are lots of pussy ass asian guys who whine that they aren't attractive and that they've been dissed by their asian women. Tough shit. Deal with it...where was I. Oh yea, it's really annoying how asians are bunched together. Seriously, Koreans, Vietnamese, Cambodian, etc. aren't that similar. I find these articles annoying, and I find the people who focus on it annoying. Go with what works. She didn't reject you cuz you're asian. She rejected you cuz you are a pussy. Asian studs like myself don't get turned down like that...our bitches slip out in the middle of the night to keep from getting ho-slapped.

read on...the article

One of the comments in one of the articles I read really made me consider an entirely new perspective on the whole Asian Male/Non-Asian Female, Asian Female/Non-Asian Male controversy.

I've had my share of being angry with Asian American females for rejecting Asian American males in favor of white males for little reason other than cultural and media stereotype, social climbing, or whatever the reason may be. However, I never considered the idea, until now, that part of the reason Asian American females might date white males is because of the lack of cultural and emotional "baggage" such relationships have. You don't have to deal with all of the expectations, ideals, and such that you inherit from your family's comments on the various values and characteristics of Asians, Asian males, and such. Being with a non-Asian guy sort of lets you just forget about all the things relationships are supposed to be like that you learned from your parents and just concentrate on the non-cultural aspects of the relationship, in other words, just let the relationship play out with no expected results or characteristics, and just concentrate on having the relationship, rather than where everyone came from, heritage, etc.

Sometimes, it's just nice to forget about the concerns of the world and just worry about the other person and your love for them.

I can understand that, and sympathize with that. Everyone, Asian or not, tries to get away from a lot of the situations and expectations imposed through constant family pressure. It's just that with Asian Americans, the kind of pressure is shared by many people, because we all have the similar experience of dealing with the unique struggle between two cultures, two worlds, and attempting to reconcile them to our own and other people's satisfaction. It's also more noticeable, because that kind of rebellion or escape ties into a more visible expression, i.e. the relationships. I'm sure girls do the same thing with not wanting to date guys that have the same values, attitudes, or opinions as their fathers, it's just not as noticeable if it's when a white girl dates a white guy who is into math instead of the arts for example. But it's particularly noticeable when an Asian girl dates a guy who's, well, not Asian. Perhaps the guilt is not so much that Asian girls discriminate against Asian American guys because of media stereotypes, but because they think all Asian American guys must be like their dads, and they don't want guys like their dads. It's just EASIER to pick white guys, because they're very visibly different from their dads. It's not a good thing, sure, and it is laziness and unfair, but it's not just because they think Asian guys have all the traits they have in the media, but because of upbringing. It's a whole psychological thing. It's not GOOD, but it's not being a sell-out, either, which is probably a little worse, at least in my book.

Not to say some Asian American girls AREN'T sellouts. But I understand, and part of it was because I only recently gave up my own little personal crusade to only date non-Asian women. Took me having dated, ironically, ONLY Asian American women up to this point to finally make me realize it doesn't really matter and I shouldn't dwell on race so much. And when I looked at my own reasons as to why - they seemed at first to be, well, I wanted to PROVE to the world Asian American men could date non-Asians. I wanted to be the crusader - to be different. Everyone's hero and champion. But then I realized I suffered from the same problem that Asian American girls tend to have - I wanted to date non-Asian so I could just get away from all those complicated problems of identity. A white girl or an African American girl, etc. wouldn't care so much about the same things I heard from my parents all the time, and maybe wouldn't keep harping on the issue of my identity. It would be safer, easier, a refreshing break from all the painful problems that I suffer in my house.

It took me finding my current girlfriend, who shares my ethnic heritage, to show me that all Asian American girls wouldn't necessarily act like my mother, push the same values, and on the flip side, act like the stereotyped "Asian Pride" girl that I also found unappealing. I found someone who I could relate to and be with just as two people in love, and be equally able to leave behind the baggage of our cultural struggle. Yet, on the other hand, it was cool because when I did want someone to talk about some shared cultural experience, I could. So she was neither my mother with all her values that I struggled with, nor the scary hardcore Asian Pride girl who wouldn't be able to leave well enough alone with our heritage, but she also wasn't a non-Asian girl who wouldn't understand where I was coming from regarding struggles as an Asian American. There's always a girl who can really make your life great, Asian and non-Asian alike - race doesn't determine the experience you necessarily will get. On that count, I do hope Asian American girls who discount Asian guys will try to look past appearance to judge, whether they're rejecting them because of media bias or because of family experiences.

I think to some extent, both Asian guys and Asian girls reject each other because of media and because of family. I think the fault of much of the disparity rests on the elements of society and its members who make white men more likely to accept Asian girls than white girls are to accept Asian guys. That is still very much a problem - even bigger than the attitudes of Asian American women (and men) themselves. Fetishism, emasculation of Asian men, white views of attractiveness and such, all result in more Asian American Female/Non-Asian Male couples than vice versa.

-bender

I feel like I should've had some say in this decision

In the still of the night
As I gaze from my window
At the moon in its flight
My thoughts all stray to you

In the still of the night
All the world is in slumber
All the times without number
Darling when I say to you

Do you love me, as I love you
Are you my life to be, my dream come true
Or will this dream of mine fade out of sight
Like the moon growing dim, on the rim of the hill
In the chill, still, of the night

Like the moon growing dim, on the rim of the hill
In the chill, still, of the night

"In the Still of the Night"
-Cole Porter

Blah and stuff..

So yesterday I had an interesting teleconference call with my dad (phone call for the normal people.. sorry I've been doing billing for my office and they use weird jargon like that and I guess I'm starting to slowly convert) regarding his birthday and other stuff. It was weird but we actually talked... like my dad really said stuff other than no or yes. He even told me a story about a vegas trip and how he always played the number 12 and how he lost 700 bucks at the roulette table in 1 sitting. He even thought I hung up and sounded concerned.. he was like "hello, are you there? dammit.. right in the middle of my story" and I was like.. "nope I'm here".. I didn't lose signal, I guess I was just in shock or something that my dad had something to say. I had just called him to ask him what he wanted for his bday and we ended up talking for like 20 minutes. It was quite refreshing and an unexpected turn of events. I won't be able to go to Davis this weekend like I had planned but I am rescheduling due to my dad's bday dinner thing that my dad wants me to come to.

Also my really cute coworker is quitting... **sigh** and due to us losing 3 employees in 3 months and only hiring 1 replacement thus far and us going to court in April... my trip to Japan is being postponed. I won't be able to go for 10 days and probably will have to settle for 5 or so. That was really depressing and saddening and I think I'm going to have to make myself feel better by buying myself something shiny... like a new car or something *hint hint*. My boss is going to pay me back for missing my trip but it still is crappy. This makes me really sad to see meghan leave... 1) she's a hottie, 2) my trip is all fudged up.

However I am still going to Japan... 1 way or another.... I WILL GO TO JAPAN.

Joe

Shit

Just found out today. I might have to move this weekend.

~bender

Guess who's back, back again.... Pablo's back.. tell a friend...

So I have returned from my vegas trip. I would love to splurge on the details however since my partners in crime both have stunning girlfriends MUM is the word (they behaved though). However I will give the full details to Bender, just not on the blog. I will say that I did not sleep with any sluts in vegas, that is both good and bad. I had a blast and this was by far the best vegas experience I've had... and I was happy that I didn't need to fuck some random girl to say it was a good trip (there certainly were opportunities). However now I have to be ridiculed by Che, and Dru and anyone else who feels the need to call me a pussy (fuck you guys) so it's an assburner. Oh well... I did discover a new STD, it's called Dry Bukkake Mouth (incidentally that is my new nickname..(You are probably saying.. WTF!!!.. I know I'm with you on that one)) and I am the first person to contract it from some Vegas Local girl... (hilarity follows) and I met some Jesus preaching brotha and sista who saved my ass from getting the beat down by a jealous bf (fucker was lucky I was wasted or I would have beaten him and his friends down). *JUST a tip, when a big buff black guy asks you to take a picture of him and his wife... do so... they may just save your night... and get you dancing with hot girls.

Vegas kicked ass... much props to my boys che and dru for making it happen...


It has been brought to my attention that I don't hang out with my apparent group anymore. Well yeah.... allow me to elaborate on this topic since the only person that I have told is Che. I am not one of that group, and don't care if I remain "in" it any longer. When I moved to SD, not one of my supposed friends came to visit other than Dru. Any functions that took place were group functions if a PARTICULAR person was planning it or going. Don't get me wrong... he's a cool guy.. but I have no time to cater to other peoples schedules if they can't cater to mine. I am treating my friendships like my future relationships and vice-versa. Not one fucking visit... and supposedly I abandoned the group... FOR SHAME!!! I know my friends, I know who will call me back and I know what bro's I can count on... those are the ones "I go to vegas and partying and shoot the shit with" No need to call them out, I know who they are.. and they know who they are. They know that if they are in a jam to give me a call.

Onto the topic of valentine's day... ehh... no need to get all riled up Bender. There are women out there who are great and willing to give you DBM (Dry Bukkake Mouth) any time of the day.

Joe is out like a light bulb!!!

Valentine's day can suck my nutz

(_|_)=====D ~ ~ ~ X(

peace biatch

Bender

Everything is gonna be alrite

The weather is amazing today. I couldn't stay in and study, so I went out to the frisbee golf park to play a couple of rounds with my roomie. Walking through the grass, the sun on my face, and a beer in my hand. Life is good....until some kid started talking shit about our beers and making racist comments. I wonder if he is still there. I should go fuck him up in front of his girlfriends. Make him squeal like a pig. (_*_) bitch! haha.

~bender

This past weekend

While Joe was busy trying to get busy in a jacuzzi at Vegas, I went to visit my boy, the thriller in Manilla, over at South Bay. Had a good time test driving cars and playing wingman to bolster my boy against some high class ho's. On Sunday, I went to go pick up some of my stuff from her place. Shut down for a while, but I burned that bridge. I've started watering the pot and am in the process of growing some new balls.

-Bender, Let it burn

Sing it bell...

That girl is poison
Never trust a big butt and smile

blahhhh

So yesterday was rough... for some reason I got this sudden feeling of emptiness. I called Bender and he talked with me, and it helped a little. And as soon as I got home Che was ready to hangout so that was cool as well. We watched tv, and played some xbox which is always fun. I seriously hate this feeling, and I know I live near family but it gets lonely up here in the hill and away from everyone. I think I'm gonna need a roommate or something. It sucks cuz I miss that group feeling I had living with che and li. We didn't hang out much outside of the apartment but we always did shit while at home. Oh well, look at me going on like a bitch eh? Well now is the time for me to say something... I spoke with a gal I knew in SD. She's single, I'm single... I think I'm going to have to pay a visit to SD just to hang out with her. We were kinda friends who might have had some connection but both of us had partners at the time. I think I'm gonna ask her out just cuz. She'll probably say no... but what do I have to lose?

beer....

Seriously this weekend was pretty good besides a couple of bad things here and there. Let's start this sucker off right... so friday night I took che to monica's and we grubbed on the best chicken ever. Then crashed at Che's so we could wake up early saturday for a wrestling tournament I was going to help him run for Schurr. Now it was quite sad seeing the state of Schurr Wrestling at the moment but it was countered by seeing some old friends, namely Kostya and Joel. But the best part about it... my assistant in the back was a Bud Light Girl. THANK YOU CHE!! That was an interesting saturday... I thought she was good looking... like very good looking.. che agreed.. kostya didn't think so but this is a guy who is now dating a girl who in my mind is a 10 so that bastard has a skewed scale and might I add I hate that sonnuvabitch now. Hehe, just kidding.. got nothing but love for my fellow comrade. So yeah after the tournament (schurr had two league champs) we went to Hooters to watch the Chuck Liddell and Randy Couture fight. It was my first time at Hooters (My Ex was supposed to take me but it never happened, actually my ex never really took me places but that's a different topic) and might I add that Hooters sucks ass. I seriously hate that fucking place. The food was shitty, the girls tits were all fake, none of the girls had asses, and the service was horrendous. I am willing to give leeway on the service because it was very busy due to the fight but seriously, me, working at a restaurant as a child... it wasn't that packed. I've actually seen Sizzlers busier on sunday's than that place.. with better service. Sunday was more of a chill day, ALMOST done with the upstairs, I'm about 2 hours worth of painting and patching until I'm done. The only thing that needs to be finished is the dining room ceiling and wall and the hallway wall and ceiling over the stairs. IT's looking nice. Che says it looks like a typical mexican place... two toned, and I never thought of it that way.. I just thought it looked like the one room I liked in design on dime a month ago when I got the paint. WHatevers, it's almost done.. WOOT. Watched the superbowl, steelers won, controversial game but steelers won regardless and then I watched some Battlestar Galactica with che and Jr. (we got che addicted, haha... another bites the dust)

on a side note I'd like to say hanging out with all my friends and especially che has show me something. JUST cuz you have a girlfriend doesn't mean your life ends. Also... I'm kinda in the mood for a bud light...

Until Next time..

Joe OUT

In the Club

Went out clubbing for the first time in a really long time over at a joint called Avalon in Sac. It was nice getting out, although they played a few songs that I rather prefer not to hear again anytime soon. Anyhow, Ron Artest was in the house. He looked good, pimped out in a black suit. Pictures and more details to follow.

-bender

camel toes are not a good thing. seriously, bitches dancing on the platforms need to get their shit on straight.

That's ron artest in the background over my left shoulder. Yea, it's a shitty shot. But what the fuck. I'm just glad he didn't get pissed off and try to kick my ass.

waiting for the weekend to start

Man, paying bills sucks ass. You get your paycheck and say I don’t need to use any money right now, you are a cheapass for a week then decide to go spend some money only to find that more than half of it is now gone. It’s all good cuz I get paid again shortly but it sucks having all your bills due at one point in the month. But I’d probably complain if I had them broken down another way. One way or another BILLS SUCK BIG HAIR DONKEY BALLS. Also I’ve got a trip to Vegas coming up soon. WOO HOO…. I am usually REALLY boring in vegas, and this trip will be no exception. I usually just want to eat and sleep. SLEEP A LOT, which probably sounds weird… but seriously… I fucking hate gambling cuz it’s basically losing money without getting anything in return. Sure there is a slight… emphasis on SLIGHT… chance that you may win. And I’ve never been one to piss money away for free, if I’m spending I want that cash to have something to show for it. I was talking with my friend and he was like… why don’t you gamble… I answered… because if I gamble 500 away in 3 hours I will hate myself forever be cause that is an Xbox 360 I could have had over 1000 Hours of fun out of. Or some decent seats at a laker game watching Team Kobe throw down, and had some great memories forever. Simply put, Vegas is not cost effective… well not to me it isn’t. But despite that tad of info I’m still going, and I’m going to have fun, because in Vegas I get to sleep… and eat… go to the pool’s and watch the girls frolic about in bikinis. Damn, isn’t that the life we all wish we had? Did I mention we have a Jacuzzi in our room? DAMN that’s going to be kickass. WOOTY WOOT…

Joe hates bills but loves bikinis

2 down, one more left

Just gotta get through this week, then I can put this shit month behind me. ave maria. Now, I can be the stooey who is into fruit hats. Fuck you mother mary.

-bender, the abominable ho-man

man...I love the colorful lyrics in rap

Too much green, too much fun (hey)
I bang cock in Bangkok
Can't stop, I turn and hit the same spot
Think not, I'm the thriller in Manilla
Schlong in Hong Kong
Pimp 'em like Bishop, Magic, Don Juan
Man after Henny with a coke and a smile
I just pick up the motherfuckin' phone and dial
I got my condoms in a big ass sack
I'm slangin' this dick like a New Jack (biatch)