Congratulations

My baby cousin graduated high school yesterday. She makes me so proud, and she's so beautiful and smart. If she would only be less like her cousin Paul and stop dating losers... oh well I guess it runs in the family.

So, Dee finished his Boards... congrats and I am sure you kicked ass like you always do.

I sooooooo need to go running and my running partner ditched me today, oh well.

Time to run solo.... woot!!

Song of the Moment- REM "it's the end of the world as we know it"

Animal is feeling somewhat tame...

ooga booga

If there were ever a time I needed guidance or to just know the answer. Right now would be it...

Song of the moment... Zapp & Roger - I wanna be your man.

Joe out

Snapping

Damn...in general, it's been against my nature, but for some reason, I'm starting to stress a little too. It's been coming in short bouts where I have trouble relaxing, but it's undeniable. Shit...Gotta hurry up and get this shit out of the way.

-bender

Little known to his fans...

Prior to becoming an nba star, Dirk Nowitzki was better known as Mr. Tumnus in the land of Narnia.




-bender

this guy is awesome

I strive to be more like this guy every day. I've got the eating part down, but I don't have the buff cutness down. The man - Takeru Kobayashi.









World Cup. Korea 1 - 0 baby. The Korean sluts be representin'. word.


-bender

Love isn't always on time...

So it seems like crunch time is closing in for Bender. I know he'll kick ass, chew bubble gum and then finally take some names, he always does.

On the other hand... loserface Joe... is getting his ass kicked, pulling gum out of his hair and giving his name out, as always.

So today interviewed at some low-budget restaurants... apparently I wasn't high
budget material since 4 of the places I interviewed at never called back. It's interesting to interview with the people of these places. It usually goes a little something like this...

Interviewer: So you go to school right now?

me: No, I graduated.

Interviewer: So you worked at a law firm, did you get fired or something?

me: No, I was doing it for the wrong reasons, I never did soul searching until after I finished college and took my LSAT's.

Interviewer: You took your SAT's after college??

me: Hmm, no... LSAT's, it's the Law School admission test.

Interviewer: OHHH, so you failed it?

me: No, actually I did quite well.

Interviewer: (with a look of disbelief) So you quit your job, and decided to give up being a lawyer so you can work in a restaurant?

me: Yup... I start a Culinary Management program in a month and hope to open up a restaurant eventually and I wish to prepare myself for success and not failure so I'm going to work at a restaurant to gain some insight on an employees POV and once I finish school start working on opening one up.

Interviewer: Well you have a nice list of past jobs (referring to Sony and the Law Firm).. *silence*

me: Yes..

Interviewer: Plenty of management experience, a degree, and you seem sharp... So are you seeking a management position?

me: Eventually (lying through my teeth, just want the training and experience so I can go back to those nice places and work) I would hope to get there but for now I'd like to learn the ropes.

Interviewer: blah blah blah

So.. we'll see where it goes from there. Since the manager interviewing me was underqualified to interview me she is passing me to the GM who I have to call tomorrow to setup another interview with... *sigh*...

I don't know if it's pride but I wish I didn't have to work at a crappy restaurant but it's like they say, you have to shovel shit before you can sleep with hot models. I also don't want a freebie and to sit at my aunts restaurant not learning the meaning of climbing the crappy restaurant ladder.

This is going to be a fun summer....

Focus on the goal Joe, ignore the dumb managers...

my kind of town

I was waiting in line to buy a chicken at costco. The older couple waiting in line ahead of me insisted that I go ahead despite strong refusal on my part. He nudged me ahead and chatted me up for the duration of the wait. His wife and I joked about how her husband turns down his hearing aid whenever he is with her and the husband and I talked about beer, sports and hanging out with the boys. I like how the folks out here are genuinely nice and mild mannered. Sure you've got a few hot-headed rednecks in pickup trucks, but the rest are honest hard-working folk. I feel at peace with the world.

-bender

007: bedlam 1 - bender 0

Took my roomie on 1-on-1 in bond for a quick 10 lives. Last one standing wins. Fists only. Me, Ninja. Him, Pussy Galore...damn...got rocked 8-2. I'm a motherfucking ninja for crying out loud. Damn...guess you can't win all the time...or ever in my case. haha

-bender

Screw you bitter middle-aged woman sandwich artist at Togo's

I went to togo's today to grab my usual #24 turkey with avocado to munch on for lunch and dinner. I asked for dijon mustard. Big mistake. The bitch squirted half the bottle of that shit onto my sandwich. I said, "that's enough" after she added a little, but she just kept going and going until the bottle started queaffing out air. Shit...Had to spend like 10 minutes scraping off dijon mustard before eating my lunch. You go die slow bitch. Seriously...

-bender

spinning dmb and coltrane

p.s. haha. I'm such an uncultured couth. Just figured out that Billie Holiday is a she. haha.

the good Orgasm guide

So it's been one helluva ride lately. Been feeling a little better thanks to an ass whooping I received by some friends. I guess Joe went into Barbie mode where he/she just shuts down. Apparently that will happen when Joe stops taking any consideration for himself and ignores his own needs and wants for a long time. I did it for a long time with my past battleaxe (if I need to explain this term... I have a putaso waiting for you). Then when I started to spoil myself a little, I started feeling bad and went back into the Barbie mode... very retarded of me but I have been telling everyone that I knew something was wrong with me. I don't think I've quite solved it, but at least I made myself feel better. Thanks to bender, che, kim, connie and monica... yous all my jiggas.

So I was wondering... now that Joe needs to get out on the market what should he be looking for... then I started to look around and I thought to myself, I need a girl that treats me better than my good friends. It's funny though, but both my female friends treat me like a king compared to my ex battleaxe. And they treat their bf's 50X better than they treat me... my head almost sploded when I realized this. I've never had a cooked meal before where I wasn't required to do something extra special to deserve it as a reward... it was like... wait you are going to cook me food just cuz you care about me.... WTF?!?! SPLOSION...
Never had a massage before, not once... gave them all the time but never received one. Well my friends have no problem saying... here lie down and I'll get that back pain out. WTF!!! SPLOSION

So I guess I have way higher standards now, which is weird cuz I'm like... I already thought I had unrealistic standards. But honestly, how can I expect to spend time with someone who doesn't treat me better than my friends. How do you justify spending time with a girl who wouldn't do more for you than your friends, I mean it's like you would rather eat some ground beef over filet... ya know? NO competition....

I went running yesterday, was hella fun and relaxing. Might go backpacking tomorrow... trying to stay active because I saw some pics of me back in the days... DAMN I was a skinny sexy sonnuvabitch. I know I can't get to that point again, but hey you gotta aim high so you fall high.

Joe is out, and feeling much better... he just hopes that drama stays back for a bit so he can gather strength up. But if it doesn't... he's cool cuz Barbie is dead and Joe "should be able to handle it"

Igniting the fire...

I wonder what it is... something is eating away at me and it's eating away real bad. So much bad has happened lately... yet I feel nothing. The things I enjoyed so much... mean nada. It was weird... I gave up drinking Coke, my most treasured beverage and vice.. I thought it would be hard but after about 3 days I could careless. I've given up Coke before and it was impossible, I'd break or cave within a week, maybe two. This time, I feel no urge for anything. Videogames were something that would be synonymous with my name and now.. I feel no urge to play and when I do force myself... no enjoyment. I've even tested the theory, got some new games... NADA.

My friends try to hook me up with girls.. they set up the whole thing... got the girls waiting on me and... I bail. When I see the girls again later my response to them and the guys is simple, It didn't sound fun and when we are hanging out talking shit... I'm forcing those smiles, I'm forcing that laugh, I'm forcing myself to be Paul.

I don't know what it is, but I hope to snap out of it, and I'm banking that starting school will change this fucking shit I'm trudging through. I am starting to feel numb, so many people have left me in the past month... so many bad things have happened to those I love and after it's all said and done, I'm perfectly content and fine.

I'm losing my edge, I'm losing what it is that makes me Paul. Recently had a conversation with Bender... and for the first time I was forcing myself to say things just because it's what I would "normally" say. I feel bad because... in a way I just lied to my best friend, but at the same time I don't want him to worry about me because he has so much shit to worry about. I hope this fire gets lit and gets lit soon.

I wouldn't worry though... I'm the toughest son of a bitch I've ever met. I'll survive... and if I don't, then it'll all be over and I won't have to worry too much about it then.(sarcasm... don't get all worried or anything)

On the bright side, I've stuck to my diet... haven't ate at any fast food, and haven't drank a soda. WOOT!! I limit myself to one bad day a week where I can eat one bad meal and that's that. BUT no soda... no matter what.. until I am happy with restoring my willpower.

Joe is getting numb and hoping something will light the fire.

feeding my addiction

BOC list has been updated.

-bender

got ma priorities straight

So for about a month, I've been planning to go to a A's vs. Dodgers game with iguana. Loser pays for dinner. It was supposed to be snacks, beer and lots of laughs. Turns out the Korea vs. France world cup game is on that Sunday, so I'm gonna be watching the game with my bro and boy j in san jose. Conversation went something like this...

hey, so um...did you buy those baseball tickets? The korea vs. France game is on that day.
...silence...
gonna watch the game with my bro and my boy j. Lots of beer. You can come if you want...
response: signed off aim

haha

-bender

spinning dmb

stoopid gurls

damn, girls crack me up.

me: Stupid ring pop. What the hell am I gonna do with a ring pop?
girl: I want it. aw...
me: Personally, I'd rather get a blow pop with my lunch
girl: o.O?

haha

-bender

wtf is going on this week?

It's literally the week from hell. fuck fuck fuck....

-bender

damn...

so the shit hit the fan this week. Looks like I probably won't be posting for a bit. You know what's going on. I'll be praying for all parties involved.

Fuck...yea...it's not fair.

bender