Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Man...

Joe, I can't believe Zach Randolph is one of the best guys on my fantasy basketball team. I'm screwed...



My 2k8 team is all jacked up now. It would've been great ending the season with gasol, odom and kobe on my team, but I'd have to part with them because of the salary limit. I decided to go young. Traded kobe for lebron and big Z to some other team to make finances work. Traded gasol for Dwight Howard. Got rid of odom, and picked up Brandon Roy, Lamarcus Aldrige and some first round picks to make things work out. I miss having kobe and gasol on my team. And btw, Jordan Farmar still sucks in 2k8.

On the brightside, I'm going to the Kings vs. Lakers game on March 3rd. Gonna bust out my lakers gear and signs that say Lakers #1, go Ronny Turiaf. I'm just a little bummed because I haven't been able to find a Ronny Turiaf jersey.

-bender

This is pretty lame

Way to represent your gender.

10 Things You Don't Know About Women: Jennifer Love Hewitt

The star of The Ghost Whisperer on being lied to and nine other things you don't know about women.

By Jennifer Love Hewitt

1. PMS is not a lame excuse to be able to yell at you. It's a great excuse.

2. We really can pump our own gas. It's just that we've got this fantasy of you as a '30s-era full-service station attendant. You'd look so cute in the hat.

3. We're not complimented when you call your ex a slut. She dated you, too. So what are we?

4. We're smart enough to know that smell is always the dog.

5. Yes, we can dish it out.

6. No, we can't take it.

7. We want to raise children. We just don't want you to be one of them.

8. Women are meant to talk and men to listen. We don't want to be fixed; we want to be heard.

9. When we ask if you've had any work done, it's because we want to know what our kids will really look like.

10. When we ask you how we look, it's okay to lie; when we ask you how she looks, you better lie.


-bender

Monday, February 25, 2008

holy shit

After reading about the child molester who is the author of my EKG book, I did a quick little search on http://www.meganslaw.ca.gov/ to see if I've got any perverts besides myself living nearby. It's kind of scary...I think I'd freak if I were a parent. I've got a guy who lives a block away who forcibly raped a 14 year old kid with a foreign object and over 30 child molesters within 10 blocks of my house. That's pretty freaking disturbing...that's just in my neighborhood. If some guy touched my kid, I'd go urology on his goods (bilateral orchiectomies without anesthesia). It's a sad world we live in.

-bender

bring on the hurt...

Earlier in the year, I signed up for a scholarly project option offered at school. It basically entails a year of research, which culminates in a publishable paper and a poster presentation at the end of the year...end of the year, or so I thought. I've spent the greater part of the year running experiments, none of which have worked thus far. For the most part, I've kind of put everything off. It turns out that my report with all of my data and analysis was due to my adviser on Feb 15 and the that my final report is due to my oversee committee this Saturday. The problem is, I haven't started yet. Currently, I'm putting off doing my paper by trying to figure out how to do the homework assignment for my EKG course using a book that the instructor literally said was worthless and should be burnt.*(see note) The next few days are gonna be painful, until the weekend when I get my ski on. Oh well, C'est la vie. Fuck it...

-bender

*dale dubin is the author of rapid interpretation of EKG's. He is not an ophthalmologist, he is a plastic surgeon who was arrested for making kiddie porn after he drugged up some kids and got them to sleep with him at his nudist colony condo. The girls were 16 and 17, but that's still illegal and I wouldn't let my daughters hang out with this guy.

Friday, February 22, 2008

Back in LA

So I'm back in LA this weekend for a college buddy's wedding/bachelor's party. It isn't really because he got married in Korea. Pretty standard issue stuff, a brazilian bbq to stuff our faces and a little poker + jack and coke. It was a $20 lesson that I should not be playing poker. Anyhow, I gave up alcohol for lent, so it wasn't that exciting. The closest thing to strippers was the sports illustrated swimsuit edition photo shoot on HDTV.

I've gotta say, I've still got a little bit of LA in me. We spent hours talking about the Lakers, Mbenga getting posterized by shaq, the three way trade between cleveland/seattle/chicago, the kidd trade, gasol, the works. Everything was spoken in relation to the Lakers. It was awesome! Played some basketball this morning until I was on the floor gasping for air...it was a short game. One of the guys broke his foot while we were playing. Same metatarsal fracture as Ariza. It was weird having everyone looking to me for answers. It wasn't an ankle sprain, he stepped funny and heard something crack. He couldn't bear weight at all, but ottawa doesn't really apply since it wasn't a sprain. Anyhow, for all you med folks, I told him to stop bearing weight, kept his shoes on tight to prevent further damage and keep the swelling down, had em keep it elevated and shuffled him off to the ER. I hope I did the right thing. Sadly, the nearest hospital was LA county, but I told them to drive to torrance (his hometown) so that he wouldn't have to wait 7 hours in pain to get seen. Glowing rec for my future employer.

The day looked up after that. Got some awesome carnitas, then we hit up the LA gun center or something like that. Firing a gun accurately is ridiculously difficult. In addition, those things are obscenely loud. For kicks, we basically got hand canons. .50 caliber revolvers and slug shooting shotguns. My paper thug didn't have a scratch on him. Even worse, I blew off the head of my paper hostage woman. I don't think I'm cut out for that kind of stuff. Definitely should not have one in my house, but I don't care if you have a rifle/firearms at your place joe. Maybe we can shoot some cans or something one day. But I digress, it's been an interesting weekend.

Joe, it's weird not having you here to hit up. Sad to come down here without having you around, but I know that you're at a good place in Seattle.

On a sidenote, you've been watching a lot of scrubs. I'm feeling like a JD, trying to be a turk when I think about going into surgery. Intern year is going to be fun.

-bender

Monday, February 11, 2008

Good times

Thanks for your advice joe and lonecoyote. The weekend ended up being awesome. Ags' parents are super chill and funny. For the most part, all we did laugh at each other all weekend and eat buttloads of food at the buffets in Vegas. Seriously...no more buffets. I don't even think my poor intestines had a chance to do their thing...overload.

Anyhow, it was good times. Got to sweat it out going to Catholic mass with the family, lost $1 on the slots and watched Mystere. To top it all off, I watched the highlights of kobe beating up on marion and his new team with dad. Freakin' sweet.

-bender

Friday, February 08, 2008

Dethklok

Seriously... I am addicted to Scrubs and Metalocalypse.

Bender you should check it out sometime. The scary thing is, the music is catchy and I've actually went out and splurged on the cd.

So.. I am not sure about the strawberry thing, it's kinda gay... even for your standards. A bottle of wine would be good, but since her father gave it up, that's not a good idea. Why not get em tickets to see Wayne Newton or something. Hmm or if they golf you could get them a good tee time on one of the courses out there. Or reservations at one of the nice restaurants. Hmm.. also it depends on what kind of people they are, like upper class, upper middle class... ghetto like us. I mean think about it, you and I are from montebello, so if some guy brings us some strawberries when he comes meet us, we're gonna rag on him. But if we were from the west side, we'd be all excited and stuff, talking about how fresh they are and how some mexican got arthritis while picking them and stuff. It's all on them, basically, find out from ags. I mean in my situation, kim's rent's were big coffee and wine drinkers, so I brought them some beans that came from my cousins farm. Fresher than anything they could possibly get, and a bottle of wine.

Sorry if I'm not helpful, but its one of those things that just depends on the type of person. Besides, they'll love you man. Your sweet, nice,adore there daughter, and your gonna be a penis doctor. It's not like your a cook or anything lame like that... wait... aww crap....

Well, I hope you have a good time with them. If you get the chance.... 15 bucks on the number 21 or 20..

And watch metalocalypse if you get the chance.

Joe out...

Thursday, February 07, 2008

a little help here joe

First thing, happy birthday to my buddy rabbit.

Second, I'm flying out to Vegas this weekend to meet my girl's folks. I'm sure that they'll be awesome and we'll have a blast hanging out. This being my first time out, I think I'd really rather be a lot more comfortable if I brought them a gift. I've been having a hard time picking a gift. I played with the idea of getting them an electronic picture frame since they travel a bit and take lots of pictures. I also like the idea of getting them a fruit basket or a wine basket kind of thing. The only problem is, dad may have given up alcohol for lent and my girl just gave up chocolate. It seems like it'd be a cruel joke to bring them chocolate covered strawberries, only to have them offer it to ags and not have her be able to eat it. Cruel and unusual. I've got to say though, they've got some pretty neat stuff out there. The most popular one in sac seems to be a place called sharri's berries, where they sell a dozen strawberries, some easily over $100. Here's an example of the fun stuff they do. Joe, cream puff boy, take notes. Anyhow, leave any ideas you may have. I've got til noon on saturday.



-bender

Monday, February 04, 2008

haha. poor kwame...

hey joe, this is an awesome article on kwame and his relationship with phil.

Cake Love: L.A. & Kwame

Now that the Kwame Brown Era has officially come to an end in Los Angeles, I thought that I should ask Lakers Coach Phil Jackson what this latest trade to Memphis says about the former Washington Wizards No. 1 pick. Surprisingly, Jackson didn't kill him.

"The reality is, Kwame has a game," Jackson said yesterday. "We're going to miss part of the game he gave to us, which was keeping people away from the basket, knocking people around with his big body. The things he could do when he could run well."


No. He told Kwame what? Yeah, Pau. I'm not kidding - meow. (AP Photo/Evan Vucci)

Jackson is known for his brutal honesty and the 2 ½ year experiment with Brown was filled with the Hall of Fame Coach's classically crass comments about him.

Two months into his Lakers tenure, Jackson questioned Brown's toughness and his inability to recover from a strained right hamstring. "I'm not putting pressure other than just call him (a sissy) every time I see him in the locker room," Jackson said. Jackson accented his accessment by making cat-like "meow" sounds as Brown walked past him. Later, Jackson walked into the locker room, pointed to a brown mink coat stashed on top of the coat rack and started laughing hysterically. "See that's Kwame's," he said.

After a triple-overtime loss to the Charlotte Bobcats in December of last season - in which Kobe Bryant scored 58 points - Jackson put the blame on Brown, who had three turnovers down the stretch. "We're going to feed him Butterfingers on the flight home just so he can feel the effects of it."

A few months later, when the Lakers visited Washington, Jackson skipped the morning shootaround and took his team on a tour of the monuments. He didn't waste the opportunity to take another dig at Brown. "I think we had other guys who'd never seen them, like Kwame Brown," Jackson said. "I hear he came here but I don't think he ever did that."

Yesterday, Jackson basically blamed most of Brown's struggles on injuries that have robbed him of his explosiveness and quickness. Then, he added, "Kwame still has an upside that people haven't seen. He's going to get better opportunities than he did here."

That might be news to Memphis General Manager Chris Wallace, who explained his reasoning for making the Pau Gasol deal by stating, "Brown was the largest expiring contact we could find." Ouch. He didn't even waste any time trying to make anyone believe that the Grizzlies expected anything from Brown, who might not be around long enough to get booed out of Memphis, like he did in Washington and Los Angeles.

"He had as bad an outing as I've ever seen a player have," Jackson said of Brown's seven turnover, boo-sparking performance in a nationally televised game against Phoenix almost two weeks ago. "It was embarrassing for him, but his teammates supported him. His teammates really loved him."


We love ya, Kwame. But see that guy back there? The one with the ball? Yeah, we need him to win, man. You gotta go. (Photo by Andrew D. Bernstein/NBAE via Getty Images)

Brown's teammates really enjoyed having him around, since he was often the life of the party. Everybody in D.C. knows how much Brown loved to have a good time. Even through he struggled on the court, he always found an escape; usually managed to keep a smile. Forward Lamar Odom said losing Brown, was "like losing a brother."

"All these guys, you start off not knowing them, then you get to be close as brothers. Of course, that hurt," Odom said. "For the most part, you lose a friend and a brother to gain a friend and a brother. You hate to see a friend go, but you make a new friend. Basketball wise, you have to move on. It's part of our business."

When Mitch Kupchak addressed the media after acquiring Gasol, he said the players were happy but upset to see their teammates leave. "But I also know that they want to win games and I think this will help us win games," Kupchak said.

Ronny Turiaf was one of Brown's best friends on the team. When I asked Turiaf to give me his favorite Brown memories, he mentioned Brown's dunk over Chicago's Andres Nocioni and of-course, Brown's most endearing Laker legacy - as the cake chucker.

"The cake was hilarious," Turiaf said, laughing. "It was very, very, very silly."


Kwame wins. Hands down.

If you don't recall. Brown had gone out to celebrate Turiaf's birthday at an L.A. night spot, when a man carrying a $190 cake approached Turiaf for a picture. Thinking that the cake was a gift for Turiaf, Brown grabbed the cake from the fan and tossed it at Turiaf's face. He missed. "Actually, he got me in the back of my head. I had to wash my hair a little bit," Turiaf said with a laugh.

Jackson's initial reaction to the incident was equally hilarious. He said it was "natural" that the cake slipped from Brown's hands. The saddest part of the Brown trade might be the end of Jackson's one-liners.



-bender

Friday, February 01, 2008

Is it true?

Pau Gasol.. for Kwame, Crittenton, and the 1st draft pick of 08 and 10.

Will this help?