She's leaving on an airplane

Once again, grammar is incorrect, but is needed to make lame song reference. After chilling this weekend with my girl, I have to turn my attention back to school so that I don't get my ass handed to me next week during finals. She is flying away to a far away place for the next few months. I'm not gonna let that get me down. My goal this quarter is to get huge...not fat, but buff. Plus, I'm gonna step it up a notch in school. On a side note, inspired by Joe, I have been diligently getting reamed by the cpu in Madden. It'll be just a matter of time before I get to do the ass pounding. One last side note. Fantasy basketball season has started today...more to come. Will Batman solve the Riddler's puzzle in time to save the Boy Wonder from a fate worse than eating out Margaret Thatcher's ass? Next time. same bat time...same bat channel.

Bender is bored

Yo Joe, how's this look

When I came home, this is the draft I ended up with. How's it look?

Your going to get killed in 3 pointers and your fg% is lacking. Your points look good and turnovers are decent. Rebounds should be good. as long as your guns dont get hurt your good to go, you may want to consider playing jaric instead of crawford because crawford is a scorer and jaric (if he plays decent minutes) will give you all around game. You are gonna lose 3points easily so giving up crawford isn't gonna matter in that aspect. Decent team, just thin on big men, as long as you don't get hurt you should be good to go.

So why do we always get curveballs in life when we're swinging for the fastballs? Don't know? Me neither. Well I guess I am starting to get depressed right now, not because of anything personal, but just because I see how the world is and it's only going to get worst. You see those futuristic movies where earth is all screwed up, the strong survive and you can't go outside because you will just burn up in the sun due to no ozone layer existing. Cancer will be something everyone has and life expectancies will hit the near 30's for most. Most of the earth will be a barren wasteland, death everywhere, the only animals that survived will probably be predators of humans, not prey. Oh well, I guess we deserve it since we fucked everything up here. Sometimes I hope a huge disease or virus wiped out a good 1/3-1/2 of the population. Now I know you think I'm talking crazy and I don't know how large of an impact that would have. I am not crazy and I do know what I'm talking about. Sure I might lose some people I value to this disease, hell I might be lost during this epidemic. Bah, you know what I just thought, even though it would help temporary... people would just start fucking and consuming in outrageous amounts and we'd be in the same shithole situation as before. I guess we are just fucked then, it can't be helped. I think I'll get some aerosol cans and help get this shit over as soon as I can.

Another thing I have noticed is that Lawyers are the worst tree killers ever. I am starting to feel real bad about wanting to be a lawyer. I see them go through boxes of paper like it's candy. If it was worth the paper but it's not. I don't know, I'm seriously really sad right now. I set out to be a small business and immigration lawyer for two reasons. 1) I know I love that kinda shit, 2) I can't let my best friend Porky just be screwed over. But seeing the straight out violation of our legal system, seeing it abused and raped by people makes me sad. To think that some of the smartest people ever creating a system like this long ago in England and the US, and to think that nowadays people just try and find loopholes and ways to screw everyone else before they screw you. All while killing tree's, who never did anything to us except... well make nice fresh air for us.

Joe tried to make people know, because knowing is half the battle, but they were too stupid or didn't care. So Joe will laugh when they are crying because their family has died of some kind of cancer, while the whole time they are driving their hummers that is incidentally a lemon, and not recycling.

the horror! the horror!

Man...I feel like such a ho. I went to my dentist today for a check-up and cleaning. All he said was, "man, how'd your teeth get so dirty so fast? Don't you floss?" I don't get it. I floss every day, brush and mouthwash 2x per day. I felt like one of those dragon lizards...forget the name, but they're huge. They don't have poison, but their mouthes are full of dirty bacteria, so they just wait for their victims to die of sepsis after biting them. Dang...Personally I'd go with the toxin. Anyhow, when I walked into the dental office, my dentist was yelling at a patient over the phone...I think the patient was threatening to sue. The cleaning was painful as usual and I left my fingerprints embedded on the armrails of his chair. That brings me to another complaint...my ghetto dentist has a garbage bag taped to the top of his chair to keep it from getting dirty. It was really slippery and I kept sliding down the chair. Sometimes I wonder why I keep going back to that guy. Damn...I wish I weren't such a creature of habit. I decided to pamper myself by getting some yuppy Tom's toothpaste because it was on sale.

It's funny...it's been over a year, yet I find it odd that I still only really like the people that I spent hours chopping and slicing Jay to bits and pieces with. Yea, I ended my sentence with with. What was I saying earlier...oh yea. I guess I'm a little paranoid, but I'm still feeling a little judged and finding it hard to trust my peers. I'm not really into having superficial relationships with my friends, but I guess that's what professionals do with their peers. meh. whatever. come on over Joe. You bring madden and I'll bring the beer.

cheers. Bender the Magnificent

living on the edge

So I went out with Richard and Porky last night, got a bite to eat and watch the laker game at porky's. I think the one thing I missed being in SD was the laker games. Damn it sucked not having them on tv or anything. Being in the office and saying go lakers and everyone just looks at me like I'm an idiot. Now I work 2 blocks from the Staple Center, woot! I know their are always people who like to be down on my boys in purple and gold but fuck them. They are the same guys who are rooting for the lakers when they are winning championships pretending like they loved em all along. Then there are genuine clipper fans like... porky.. who hate the lakers because they are the loved team of the city. Bah anyways... basketball season is about to start and I can focus on that instead of this damn loneliness I'm finding myself faced with. I mean I got madden and soon nba 2k6 but having basketball is going to be a lot more fun because I love coaching the guys from my couch or room. Hehe.. well I'm weird like that.

Today at work was weird.. so my coworker (the one who agrees with me that Keira Knightley is perfect) got back from some minor surgery and hasn't been able to walk very well. She was rolling around in the copy room on a chair and I guess I came in unnoticed while she was facing the other way and started dg chron'ing stuff and she spun her chair around fast and towards the other side and all of a sudden I feel someone grab my ass. She didn't do it intentionally or anything but damn.. it felt good, I guess in all the time I've been in relationships with both my ex's I never had that happen to me. She screamed (not bloody murder but more of a startled "oh shit I'm gonna crash" kinda way) and the other paralegal turned around and was like Eek what happened. Well it was all a misunderstanding.. and don't get any ideas in your heads I AM NOT ATTRACTED to her so don't start Bender before I whoop some ass. Just that feeling, having your ass grabbed... was surprising and pleasant. It was definitely a new experience, the sad part is wasn't passionate and it wasn't a girl I care for doing it for attention or anything. Oh well... I'm so fucking pathetic I have nothing better to write in my blog entry than when my coworker grabbed my ass... but like they say.. better to be grabbed and not cared for, then not grabbed at all.

Go LAKERS!!!

Joe-in it up

Racing in the Sun

I know, the title is a terrible allusion, but I couldn't resist. I think I've been influenced by really bad Futurama titles such as "Parasites Lost" and "The Cyber House Rules." Anyhow, I shall begin extolling the virtues of cycling in Davis. Rather than racing in the sun, it was more of a race against the sun. After class, I jumped on my bike to put in a quick 30 miles around town. There's nothing quite like watching the changing scenary, hearing the wind swish by and having the beats of the Postal Service oomping in the background. Davis was looking like a dry pit a few weeks ago, but it's really grown. I've never seen such beautiful weed in my life. Not the type that bad people smoke for ilicit purposes in explicit movies like Reefer Madness. The fields were strewn with green patches of garden variety weeds...a sea of green. It was bliss. Life is good.

New Day...

Well I am venturing on the same path, only in a different way. God give me the strength to go at it alone.
Yesterday I was at my boss' house fixing his network and eating dinner and I can say.. I may have lost the most important inspiration I had, but I gained a small piece of inspiration. That house was probably the nicest house I have been in. Mind you I've been in mansions galore (including playboy), so the fact that this was just a normal house makes it even crazier. Well I won't get into it too much but he had a great view (not to the beach but to SGV and Downtown isn't that fucking great?!?). Well he had the two most hyper dogs I have ever met, they would run around so much on the hardwood floor they couldn't stop and would slam into stuff. I hope this inspires me to get those A's, get where I want to and get nice things like that. Because this morning I woke up and thought to myself... what the fuck, what did I do to not deserve stuff like that, what makes me disqualified. I may be broke now, but I guarantee when the game ends I won't be.

Yo Joe

a jock moment

for starters...I've come to the realization that this blog thing is great for venting. My blogs were a big downer in the beginning, but I think venting has helped me to find inner peace...free food this whole week has helped too. Anyhow, here's a dumbass metaphor for life I was thinking about while driving back from the gym. I was just thinking about why I like the sports that I do. For example, I don't like cycling because people wear tight spandex and shave their legs. There's a lot more to it. There's the calm as the sun rises or sets...the wind in the air blowing through your wheels, the sound of asphalt being pushed aside by your tires, the way things look at different times of day...different angles. Rock climbing doesn't have as much interesting stuff, so you have to add more...metaphor to it. Rock climbing is a lot like med school...or life. You bust your ass to hang on for as long as you can...then you have to let go and start all over again. You don't really get anywhere...just climbing the same rock. For all the gunners out there...in indoor climbing...sure you make it to the top, but then you have to come back down. Does it really matter to the rock...or to anyone else besides yourself that you made it to the top? Heck, you can make an argument that it is easier and more fun to not climb to the top...but climbing to the top really isn't the point of climbing. It's to have fun...bond with your belayer, challenge yourself, and get some exercise. At the end of the day, you're not gonna remember how many ascents you've made. Applying that to life...are we climbing...racing towards the top of a wall that has a ceiling? Are we missing the big picture? Is the point to get to the top, or to make friends/family and have fun in the process. Sure, the view looks nice from the top...but you shouldn't forget the guy at the bottom who is holding your rope and keeping you up.

this has been a jock moment with Bender
brought to you by fat tire beer, reminding you to drink up and get stupid

Ignorance is bliss...

Damn...I've had 4 great days in a row. That must be some kind of record. Today I went out and got some roasted turkey, mashed potatoes, gravy and cranberry sauce. It's my thanksgiving lunch, because knowing my parents, there ain't gonna be a Thanksgiving dinner in the traditional sense. I like turkey...argh...sleepy...aiite. I'm out. My comments are a lot more superficial when I'm happy...all the deep shit comes out in the depth of depression. I guess Kierkegaard was right. I like being happy and dumb.

Bend it like Bender

can't wait for the sun to go down

My new bed came in today...well, not exactly new. It's a floor model, but it's comfy and I'm happy with it. This is the 3rd good day in a row that I've had. Life is good.

Bender

Call from an old friend

Damn...you know what I hate? Hanging out with an old friend and having nothing to talk about because you're both so different. There are only a handful of people that I can not talk to in years and feel immediately comfortable with. One of those buddies, Sanmig, dropped me a random line today at 10am. I skipped class and went along for a ride to check out UC Hastings Law school. He is doing the law school tour and flew out from Boston to check out some of the law schools in the bay area. We first stopped by In-N-Out for a little 6 X 6 action. When we ordered, the cashier said, that's gross, how are you gonna finish that? I should of had that bitch fired. Anyhow, it was nice chilling with an old friend and reminiscing over college stories that will never be repeated in front of our children. Had dinner in a lil Italian joint I love in North Beach. Traffic was backed up on the 80, so we ended up hanging out in Berkeley at a EB Games store. I had to punk some kids to gain control of the Xbox and I spent an hour destroying Sanmig in Blitz...alrite, maybe he kicked my butt a couple of good ones. Anyhow, it's been another good day...two in a row. That's amazing. My bed is coming in tomorrow. It's gonna be another good day. shiiiiit.

Anyhow, we had an interesting conversation on our way back to Davis. We were thinking about regrets in college and about parallel universes. I'm sure there's another Bender out there who is really happy because he made all the right decisions. But seriously, he is a different person than I. I wouldn't have and didn't make those choices...so it's not a matter of what if, because I would've never done those things. In some strange way, that brings me inner peace. ohm...what a loon I am.

Bender the Magnificent

Life's what you make of it, or you can just toke it away

So I was thinking about my job, and how crazy my boss is. He is quite the character, someone to be admired, but not followed. I mean he is quite successful and I hope to be half as successful of a lawyer as him but man is he weird as heck. A funny conversation I can recall is him talking about weed. He kept asking me if I did it, and I said no, and we was shocked and in awe. I was like how am I supposed to answer that. He said the way to answer it (while laughing mind you) "are you kidding me". So from now on I will know how to answer that question if it comes up. I guess that's a lawyers way of life, being ambiguous and answering the question without answering it. I guess it makes life easier to make people assume and if they are wrong you can call them on it. I'm learning little tricks like this and I think it will help me because I love to argue with people and he seems to be damn good at it. I can't wait until I go up to norcal so I can argue with Bender cuz he gets really riled up when we argue. I think he hates that I'm so stubborn and never avert from my goal. But he is the same way, so he has to shutup. Since I met that fuqer he's wanted to be a doctor, and look at him.. he's halfway there. So anyways, I want to watch Doom cuz well.. it's a game I grew up playing. I remember the first time my dad brought it home and installed it, with all 5 floppy disks. I was so excited, I mean I don't think anyone could keep me from watching this just because it's a movie that will always remind me of my dad cuz me playing video games.. is just a reminder that I am the biggest gamer I've ever met, and it's because it's in my genes. My dad is the only bigger gamer because I started with Atari, he started with pong... Damn, will I ever beat him... the saga continues..

GiJoe... OUT

bah humbug

So today i had my first real experience of a court deadline. Damn it was exhilirating. To top it all off I had a lunch at Mortons with the coworkers. It was quite the experience, everyone laughing, talking about funny stuff, everyone giving their input on sexual behaviors (well not me because yeah, don't have much to share on that topic). It's funny to hear my coworkers talk about that kind of stuff because the answers were really different than what I'd expect. I don't know, but I guess I speak for Bender and Myself when I say... are we the only two guys not getting our share of crazy monkey sex, cuz after hearing some stories.. missionary just isn't gonna cut it anymore. Dammit... oh well. Oh yeah I finally found one thing me and my coworker have in common, which is cool cuz she pissed me off when she said video games are a waste of time (she almost got thrown in front of a bus for that one). So work is going whatevers, still wondering if I'm permanent there or temporary (hate not knowing). But I have a new project for now so I guess I get a little more time there. Well I have stuff to complain about but here is not the place. My mood is really shitty right now.

GiJoe out..

surprised by joy

sorry that all of my titles make cheesy references to books, movies, songs, etc. haha. Anyhow, I was feeling a little down this past week, but today was good. Once again, I've decided I'm not gonna be a victim. During a lunch bible study, Anthony, my biking buddy, gave me a mp3 player. I've only known this guy for a few weeks, but yea...I was totally blown away by his generosity. Utterly speechless...I guess I could've cried, but I don't really do that kind of thing. Our lives, happiness, direction, and perspective are partly shaped by situational circumstances...but they're largely the outcomes of our decisions. I had dinner with my adviser today...greasy pizza with coke. Dang, can't beat it. Wow this guy cracks me up. Totally traditional Korean guy. Says things like...find a traditional wife who will stay home and cook korean food for you, it's nice being a badass doctor because you get to wear the pants in the house and be da man...we're gonna go out drinking next time. Where was I going...oh yea. This guys is happy and really enjoys his job. He works a strict schedule and goes home to his loving kids. He says there's nothing like going home to your kids when they look you in the eye and say, "feed me..." Hmm...sure thing. Perhaps I'll be as lucky one day as to have a child to leach off of me. Anyhow, I've decided medicine is what you make of it. I've decided it's gonna be a 9-5 where I get hooked up with free drugs for cheap thrills. Next time...Bender gets arrested by the hospital Nazis...

Go Bender, uh! I'm the greatest!

time to jump another loop

I went to a pediatric talk to get some free food for dinner. Everyone was gung-ho about peds. I guess I've been pretty focused on getting into med school my whole life, but now that I'm in, I have no idea what I want to do. There are lots of things that seem pretty interesting, but I need to have specific research to get in. I feel that I'm already behind...working on a research project...probably the wrong project. Working on epidemiology. That's what I get for working on a project that I thought was novel and interesting at the time. damn...I feel so lost. I guess most people feel like this when looking for a major in college. It's interesting...finally being honest with yourself. Looking past all the bs that you fed people for your motivations in life. I'm a really ugly person and I'm not sure that I like who I am. Day by day...working on becoming a better person. How does that occur? By hanging out with the stupid hard-core right wing conservative Christian bible bangers? Hanging out with bleeding heart liberals who cry for the poor abused alcoholic? Shit...I hate this. So this is the real world...gonna try to bring kids into this world? shit...why? To make my life more full? What about their world? Having children...it seems like a very selfish thing...at from what I've seen from the people around me. What about asians who live their whole lives for their children? What's the point of that...then nobody is happy. meh

Bending with the wind...

Bird flu over the cuckoo's nest

Damn...I'm down and out with a cold. I don't think it's a flu because I don't have a fever. Taking zinc and vitamin C and camping out to Futurama. Maybe that run wasn't such a hot idea. Waiting for my bed to come in this weekend...that's gonna be the highlight of my week. On a sidenote, amare stoudamire has had microsurgery on his knee and is gonna be out for a while...should I pick him up during the fantasy lottery next week or should I try to pick him up after the draft ends? tough decisions... =)

On a sidenote, this image is from engrish.com...damn that site cracks me up.

damn rain

So here I am, looking out the window, wondering when the rain will stop. Now it's not that I hate the rain so much, because I think rain is cool a lot of the time, you get to wear the coolest clothes. But when you have an old car, the rain poses a serious threat, because no matter how much service you give that old car, it's still....old. Well I am sure I will make it through this damn rain without a scratch but it does bring my stress level to a higher level.

This weekend was a fun one, I saw "Domino", and "Wallace and Gromit" (nothing like movie hopping on a saturday night). I also went to the Original Pancake House, no... it's not an IHOP or a chain.. but just a good old fashioned pancake restaurant, with average pancakes (they have one pancake that is HUGE but I didn't get it because it looked to much like quiche) but the BEST restaurant Omelette EVER!!! It was the second best omelette I've ever had (first is the one my dad makes, few have tasted it, but damn I can't think of anything I liked more as a kid then waking up on a saturday or sunday and smelling my dad's omelette's. Also I got my usual Coti's nachos, and pho. All in all it was a fun weekend, long and tiring.. but fun. I also finished my bday shopping for jenn so that should be a relief, except now I have to think of a nice restaurant to take her to. Well until the next time..

"knowing is half the battle"
GiJoe OUT

Heartbeat Run

I haven't run in a while, but I ran a 10k charity Heartbeat run to raise money for the student run clinics in sacramento. It was really nice running through the farmlands of Davis and the arboretum. I came in at the pathetic time of 1:06 something, but I didn't want to ditch my running buddy.

-Bender on the rocks

This would be funny if it weren't true

I stopped by Panda Express in Davis to get some grub. I didn't realize that it was the grand opening of a Panda Express. There were literally hundreds of people there...all the asian thugs with their ho's and the like. There was a guy dressed up in a panda costume and bitches in kimonos handing out samples of teriyaki chicken. I had to wait in line for half an hour to get my food. Ridiculous...It's a fucking Panda Express people. There was even a news van covering the event. This city is so lame it's unbelievable. Who eats at Panda Express anyway? I was just in the mood for cheap trashy Chinese food...

Bend it like Bender

wandering the streets of downtown

Standing on the corner of 7th and Figueroa I start to wonder how the city came to be established? Who decided these names, why is this building designed like this, and why is parking such a pain in the ass? Why does food and parking cost 1.5 -2 X what it normally does when you are downtown, but suits and jewelry are cheaper? All things I'm sure everyone might have wondered at different points but just let go. Well I guess I didn't let it go, I really wish I knew these answers, I mean... I know the answer is "rent" and other things and such but I know each of these places makes a good profit or they'd close down, and it's weird how the whole economic structure of downtown is setup but yeah.. I'm just rambling... I guess I just think the way we set stuff up is retarded, making downtown expensive because it's the center is retarded and is what drives people away and to the outskirts. Causing huge traffic jams, I mean the way LA is setup is great (my opinion) because its so unique from other places (or so I hear) and such, but it's also silly (also my opinion (i know it doesn't make sense, i'm conflicting)). I think I'm just ranting and questioning weird things right now but that's how I'm feeling.

Onto another topic. Men... and Women... I feel they are so different yet so the same. Today I was calling various dealerships and acquiring information for cases and whenever I would encounter a General Manager who was a Male, it turned into an argument ending with them cussing me out, or hanging up on me. When the GM was a woman, they would assist me right away provided I could evidence I was really the authority I was stating to be. Now you might say this is just a stereotype but the fact that this happened for 8 hours EVERY time, and the same thing happened to my co-worker who is a female and got crap from every woman she encountered but had no problems with the men. Keep in mind we even switched our failures and had success with the males/females the other could not succeed with. We claimed to be the exact entity and said the same exact things but had different results (I know this was worded poorly but it's 8:11pm and I'm fucking tired so bear with me). I am no psychologist nor pretend to be but I think this proves men are sexist, and women hate women. Now you might wonder why I make that argument and not that men hate men, and women are sexist. Well because that's a stupid argument and my argument is much better and you have to take my word for it (seriously though, you should... I'm this close > < to my psych major) Well I'm done for today, peace out.

Go Joe!!!

disillusioned

i'm sitting in a virology lecture right now. This is verbatim from my professor "You are just a tool to make hospitals, HMOs, and clinics money. Get used to it." Shit...so much for helping people.


Bend it like Bender

Ray of sunshine

New discovery that has made my life more enriched - chocolate covered bananas at safeway.
Old standby - best-of-craigslist

New highlight of the day - Panda express has finally opened down the street from my apartment. Sometimes, you just get in the mood for cheap trashy Chinese food.

-Bender

Within every inner circle is an inner circle

Dang...not sure what I should do. I'm feeling like a med school loser...just trying to keep up with school while everyone is out curing cancer and shit like that. I'm considering getting a master's in public health...maybe do a year of research for the NIH in Maryland. I don't really want to do that...don't want to do either. I feel that I'm not competitive for residency positions. Still, I don't really feel like taking a different track because I really like the friends I've made in med school, albeit very few, and I'd like to go through the rest of med school with them. Not sure what to do...I haven't felt badass since high school. Then again, I'm not really willing to work as hard as I did back then...it was too painful. I want to stop feeling tired and living for tomorrow. damn...I'm so mentally weak now. Don't know what happened...

Bend it like Bender

wasting time and going nowhere

So I'm sitting here wondering where the fuck I went wrong? 24 years old... no degree, no kids, no marriage, longest job held was a part timer for 2 years. I sit and wonder... "why am I alive, why haven't I put myself out of misery already?" and then it hits me... potential.. yeah so they say I have it, but do I use it? I won't know the answer to this question until much later, much much later. I hear the word so often that it's almost cliche, how I find a way to impress people is beyond me but somehow I do. I start to feel like I'm one big fucking sham and then it hits me, "I can't be, I've got too many believers that can't be let down" so I'm going on for that. The only problem is that inspiration like that isn't flowing through you like a river and comes and goes, probably why I'm in the position I'm in. I keep hoping I'm a late bloomer and will finally kick it in to overdrive and start kicking ass like I'm told I can. But what if I can't? What if I'm only all that you see, potential and nothing more. Depressing yes, but I can't complain because I got clothes on my back, a roof over my head and food on my plate. Well raise your glasses everyone... it's time for me to go after another dream... let's see how long until I fail this time eh? Or maybe I'll prove everyone right this time, and handle this shit and be satisfied knowing I followed through just once. I guess we'll just have to find out.

Gi Joe out..

is this the real world, or is it just fantasy...caught in a landslide

i'm heading into midterms for fall quarter of MSII at UCDMC. I've lived my whole life for this career, but I'm starting to wonder if it's all that it's cracked up to be. I can make myself feel better by saying I can subspecialize and make lots of money, but that's not why I picked this path. Ever realize that you don't actually like talking to people and hearing their problems? All the answers you've been telling admissions committees is a lie. I'm in debt, so I don't really have a choice at this point. Have to chug on. Shit....I know I have no right to complain, but it wasn't supposed to turn out this way.